Journey Through The Soul of a Warrior

Today Was A Fairytale;

2010-03-22T18:06:00.002+08:00

Iqmal Hijaz, the name that never slip my mind even for a second. He is the person who is responsible for carving smiles on my face. I love being around him. He is a very positive vibe that is so irresistible. I never knew I needed someone to fill this empty space in my heart until I met him. He make me realized that everyone needs someone to share their laugh and pain with. Everyone wants to feel special, to feel needed. He showed that to me. I love everything about him. I accept him as he is, flaws and all. I love it when he shows how much he loves me, I love it when he hugs me and make me feel that I have the world. I love it when he 'perasan', I love it when his being flirty. I love it when his horny. Haha! I love when he calls me with sweet names. I love it when he kissed me. I love it when he hold my hands, it feels so right. The spaces between my fingers is where yours fits perfectly. I love it when he don't gives a damn with what people think of him. I love it when he love the way he is and never try to impressed people. I love it when he don't even care about his appearance, a simple guy. I love it when he gets jealous. I love it when his being oh-so-cute! I love it when his being sweet and romantic. I love it when he thinks his right when his not. I love the feeling being around him. I love it that he accept me as I am. I love it when his being hard-headed but occasionally. I love it when he shows that I'm the only one that he sees. I love everything about him. Most important of all, I love him with all my heart.

My hearts longs for you. My hearts longs to be filled with joy by your smile. My heart longs for my love, respect and adoration to flow to you as I gently kiss your lips. My heart longs to be warmed when I hold you in my arms. Every moment spent with you is like a beautiful dream come true. I am just writing to show the world how much I love you. From the moment that we met, til our last kiss I have always loved you. I have never stopped loving you. You are one of the most remarkable people I've ever known. You're kind, caring, compassionate, loving and incredibly sexy. When I am with you, I feel alive. You bring to me a happiness no one else has before. You bring to me a love I have never known before. I could not imagine what my life would be like without you. I know that I don't want to even imagine. You have touched my heart in ways no one could ever comprehend. I love being with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. My caveman, my sexy monster, there is nothing on this Earth that I could ever give you that would ever come close to how I feel about you. I want to be with you for the rest of your life, and I hope you feel the same. If only you knew how much I want to stay in your life. Is it wrong to be so young, yet feel so strong about you? I do not know what love is. But if it means caring for you, respecting you, believing in you and putting your happiness above my own, then I am in love. This is not lust or a silly crush. I really do love you.

Since day one we've shared something incredible, something that most people only dream of. I had been searching for you all of my life. You have made me the happiest I have ever been. You are sincere, caring, loving man, and I wouldn't trade you for the world. I am so thankful and blessed that you loved me as much as I loved you, and that you made me your partner. Did you know that I tasted heaven? It's true. I tasted heaven the day I met you. And when we kissed, you sent me flying, dancing on the clouds while the stars sent down some loving light to shine upon us. You're a incredible person inside and out. You possess the grace of a dove, soaring into a never-ending shock of blue and downy white. And you have all the kindness and passionate of an angel bathed in heavenly light. That's what you are to me, my very own guardian angel, and I'll always own a tiny bit of heaven as long as you're part of my heart. What further words can describe what we have together? For our love to grow as it has this past months, I took with every beat of my heart. Words can no longer describe it, but rather in feeling and emotion of what we have for each other. You have always had the key to my heart, and you inside my heart has made me more than I can ever be. Though the sea separates us till that special day, I know we take each breath with every beat, and always together as one. I love you with all that I am.

I could kiss you a thousand times and still not be satisfied. My love for you is endless, so tender, so hot and complete. I swear to God I want you in my life. I love you more and more with each day passing and it eases me to know as tomorrow approaches, that I will love you more then yesterday and tomorrow will be more then today. My love for you cannot be measured by words alone as love does express my true feelings for you. When I think of our love it reminds me of all the things you are to me. You and only you have given me so much hope and have made me realize how much I want you! You show the true meaning of how a man should treat a woman. For the first time in my life I have something to believe in. You've seen me at my worst and still take me as I am. I thank God for you every day because I know you're heaven sent, you are my angel. I love you from now till death do us part. The first time I heard you say the words, "I love you", it was like I have been taken to Cloud 9 and I haven't gone down until now. Right after you uttered those words I asked myself, "Do I love you?", and as I look for the answer, I again asked: have you given me any reasons not to? No. I then realized that I have already fallen in love with you, and yes. I am so in love with you! In the past, I had always yearned for someone to love, to cherish and to take good care of, to whom I would share my dreams with and make them come true. I'd always walked around feeling so empty with a hole in my heart that I thought would never get filled. You filled that hole. I think back to how empty my life was without you, and I am so grateful that you are here. I have found in you what it means to "love." I tell you a million times a day, each day that I love you. Although you reciprocate these feelings, I am sure that you have no inkling of the magnitude of exactly what they mean to me. You can do the slightest thing and it warms me. You may not even realize it. Each day has me falling more in love with you. I love you more and more with each passing day. And it eases me to know that as tomorrow approaches, I will love you more than yesterday and tomorrow will be more than today. You are really God's gift to me. My answered prayer that I will forever cherish in my heart. You are the most wonderful, kind, compassionate, romantic, smart, sensible, intelligent, talented, kind-hearted, thoughtful, congenial, affectionate, appreciative, loyal, caring, loving, passionate, handsome and an incredibly sexy man with "killer abs" I have ever met and I thank God everyday that you are mine! I love you with my whole existence, my whole life and nothing in this world can take that away! I love you more than I could ever explain. More than I even understand.

You touched my heart in ways no one could ever comprehend. I hope today turns out to be the day I wished it to be for you. Today, I'd like to give you this little glass that holds the unrelenting memories of my past that shackles my being. I just have to give this to you and I have to do this for myself, for you, and for us. Today, I give my life to you, my heart, my mind, and my soul. I belong to you now. This may start sounding like a poem. I don't know. I just wanted to let you know that you are my heart, my everything, and the other half of my soul, that I love you with everything I have and hold. Now, when I look towards the future, you are always pictured there. Maybe, in this lifetime, you will never know how much I love, care and cherish you. Your love gives me the feeling that the best is still ahead. I can't wait to spend forever with you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

2010-03-16T16:29:00.003+08:00

Thanks to everybody for making my birthday this year a extremely wonderful day for me! Especially my friends and boyfriend. I love them to death, seriously. They made my day. And of course, my family. So far, this year is the best birthday ever! Even though, no party and all but it really mean a lot to me that everybody is there for me :D My hubby was being so unexpectedly romantic and sweet! He gave me flowers with a birthday card and a HUGE teddy bear! AWWW :D I love him so very much, till death do us apart. It was so unexpected, I was touched by his card. It's like the sweetest thing ever, I can't never ask for more. Sayang, I love you so very much. Please don't ever leave me. You're the best damn thing that ever happened to me. The best thing I never knew I needed. Sorry if sometimes I make you upset and everything. Thanks for everything that you have done for me. I can never wish for a better boyfriend! :D I want you to know that no matter what happen, I will always love you, always. Thank you for being there for me every time I need it. And to my friends, you guys are the best ever! I can't never ask for better ones. You guys made my day. It would never be complete without you guys there with me. Thanks for everything. I really appreciate it. I love you guys like no other. I hope that we'll be friends forever and ever. I don't need anything more as long as I have you guys with me. Through thick and thin, I'll always be a friend. And yeah, thanks to everybody that wished me. Your thoughts are highly appreciated. THANKS EVERYBODY! ♥

Climb

2010-03-11T23:19:00.002+08:00

Okay, I know I've been neglected this blog for so long and yeah I'm here to do some update. Well, my life has been on the right track so far. At least, that's what I think. But, things are somehow not what I expected it to be. I guess I learn to see new perspective on things. I need to be more serious with things and get it done. I am taking the biggest exam this year, spm. Yeah I know right, terrifying. And I am still not doing what I'm supposed to be doing which studying my ass off. I don't know why but I'm just a sucked up whenever it comes to things like this. Let's just say that I'm a lazy ass. But, I realized that if I want to succeed in life this is the stepping stone to what is coming ahead. I need to be ready for the world. I cannot depend on my parents for ever right so I need to start from now. Way back when, I used to be a really good student. Getting good results and all. But, everything changed after I entered high school. I guess the environment is different from what I used to. I started to socialized more and make friends with people who is years older than me. I guess I grew up too fast, yeah like they say girls matured faster than boys. Now, I need to concentrate on what I really need to do and ignore all the distractions. I want to make my parents proud of me. They've done so much for me and this is the time to repay them. Seeing my success is like winning a lottery to them. They'll be overwhelmed. This is what I can do for them after 17 years giving me the best. I promise I'll try my best, I'll give my all. Whatever happens after that I'll have to accept it with open heart. Once you fail, that doesn't make you a completely failure. It means that you're ready to face what's ahead. You need to keep on trying! Keep climbing till you reach the top. Never back down. Learn from your mistake and improve. Things around you can be a good motivator. Try to see things more clearly, see it with your heart. Always believe in yourself, believe that you can do it. Okay, now it looks like I'm giving a speech or something. All I wanna say that whatever you are be a good one. And yeah, I miss my friends so bad. It feels like forever since I last saw them, well it's only been two weeks and yeah it feels like two years. Maybe because I'm used to being around them that's why when they're not around I can feel the emptiness. And plus, I haven't seen him for like two weeks also and yeah I missed him like OHEMMGEE! I miss him so bad :( It's the first time we've been away from each other for so long since we've been together. I want to see him so bad! I miss his hugs, like seriously. Good thing that his coming back this weekend and plus my birthday is like days away! I want presents people :D Hahaha. Well, wishes is enough for me. It can really made my day because it shows that you remember Hehehe. Okay, I guess I say what I need to say now I'm off to bed, toodles xx

Some Things Are Better Left Unspoken;

2010-02-28T22:07:00.002+08:00

I don't know why but these days I seem to be so sensitive over things, even small things. I can be upset over things that I'm also not sure of. All the feelings is coming to me at once like a storm. Confused, pissed off, jealous, annoyed and so many more. I don't know why. Maybe it's because that the feeling I have inside of me is so strong that I can't even take control of it. I guess that I love you to much that's why I'm acting this way being all paranoid. Sometimes, I asked myself, am I ready for a commitment? Am I ready to have someone in my life? Am I strong enough to deal with it all over again? But then it strikes me, you have to learn to take risks in life. Do things that you probably never want to do. I mean, if you have had a broken heart before just have faith and restart. Love someone with all your heart because you never know if you going to get a chance another to. In a relationship, you need to compromise. Be true to each other. Connect with each other through the soul. If you have problems with each other, tell don't keep it to yourself. But, some things are better left unspoken. Make things easier for the both of you. Never fail to put a smile on each others faces. Have fun and enjoy every moments you have with each other, cherish it.

Sayang, maybe I never showed how much I really love you but trust me I do. I can't imagine living my life without you. You are so precious to me. Maybe I can be a little bit to emotional sometimes but deep down inside I do really love you from the bottom of my heart. Every time you're not around me, I feel incomplete. I think about you most of the time. I talked about you everyday at school. Every time, I always forget to forget you. Well, I don't think I can. You will always be right here with me, inside my little heart. I hope you feel the same way. I'm sorry for everything I've done. I appreciate everything that you have done for me, it means the world to me. Sometimes, the littlest things that matters in a relationship. What we have is so beautiful. Nothing can replaced it. Bittersweet memories with each other I will cherish it till the end of time. I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass but the truth is I love you with all my heart. I gave you my all, all that I can give. There's nothing left for me to share because everything is yours. I reserved my heart for a very long time for someone like you and it's worth it. Sometimes I wished you can see how I love you through my heart so you'll feel the unconditional love I have for you. I hope you'll be my everlasting, the undying love ♥

The Apples Of My Eyes;

2010-02-17T21:56:00.011+08:00

I miss my sweethearts! :( I need them like right now. I wish they were here with me to cheer me up because whenever I'm around them I can't help but smile 24/7. I love them from the bottom of my heart to the top! I don't know what would I do without them. They are the strength that keep me alive all this while. My world is a better place because of them. I'd do anything for them because I know they would do the same for me. They are the best of the best! Even though, we have our ups and downs but we are still here standing strong side by side facing the world together with open hearts. I can't ask for better friends. If I were stranded on an island, I just need them and my family nothing else matters if they are with me. I hope and wished with all my heart that they'll stay with me till the end of time. That they won't ever leave me because I can't live my life without them in it. I just love them to death, well till after death too. Eternity. I hope that they know how much they mean to me. They are very precious to my heart. Promise me guys that you would never ever leave me? I love you guys so so so so so so so much. They know who they are ♥

This Is How Love Looks Like;

2010-02-16T18:14:00.008+08:00

Love is the essence of life. Yet we find it difficult to find true love. There are many single men and women out there, looking for the right match. Many divorced and separated have no faith in love. But do not despair. Open your heart and be willing to risk it. Break out of the impenetrable fortress that you have built around yourself. Life is a good teacher. Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. There's so many ways and words to express how much someone means to you but there's no perfect words or ways to really make them understand how you really feel towards them, love is just indescribable. But that doesn't mean you don't have to make an effort to it. Show them how you really feel, express how much they really mean to you. Tell them you love them. You can say it with different words or ways.

I love being around you.
I need you by my side.
I need you.
I respect you.
I value you.
I want a lifetime with you.
I want you.
I worship you.
I yearn for you.
I'm a better person because of you.
I'm devoted to you.
I'm fond of you.
I'm lost without you.
I'm nothing without you.
I'm passionate about you.
I'm thankful for you.
I'm yours.
Me and you. Always.
My love is unconditional.
Our love is invaluable.
Take me, I'm yours.
The thought of you brings a smile to my face.
Together, forever.
We were meant to be together.
You are a blessing in disguise.
You are an angel from God.
You are like a candle burning bright.
You are my crush.
You are my dear.
You are my everything.
You are my heart's desire.
You are my life.
You are my one and only.
You are my one true love.
You are my reason for living.
You are my strength.
You are my sunshine.
You are my treasure.
You are my world.
You are precious.
You are the light of my life.
You are the reason I'm alive.
You bring happiness to rainy days.
You bring joy to my life.
You cast a spell on me that can't be broken.
You complete me.
You drive me wild.
You fill me with desire.
You fill my heart.
You give me wings to fly.
You had me from hello.
You hold the key to my heart.
You inspire me.
You intoxicate me.
You lift me up to touch the sky.
You light my flame.
You light up my life.
You make me hot.
You make my heart skip a beat.
You make my world a better place.
You mean the world to me.
You motivate me.
You rock my world.
You seduce me.
You set my heart on fire.
You simply amaze me.
You stole my heart.
You sweeten my sour days.
You turn my world upside down.
You turn the darkness into light.
You're a dream come true.
You're a gem.
You're a twinkle in my eye.
You're absolutely wonderful.
You're all I want.
You're as beautiful as a sunset.
You're beautiful.
You're charming.
You're enchanting.
You're heavenly.
You're my angel.
You're my perfect match.
You're one in a million.
You're priceless.
You're sexy.
I'm blessed to have you in my life.
You're the apple of my eye.
You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
You're the best.
You're the diamond in the rough.
You're the one for me.
You're the one I've always wished for.

This is some of the words you can use to express how much you love someone. Even though, it's just words but it can really put a smile on some one's face because it has the deepest meaning to it. It shows that you really care for someone, that they really mean something to you. Love is something that comes naturally, when you have it in you it's just the greatest feeling that you'll ever feel. It's just beyond wonderful. You feel that you are alive when you are in love. That at last the world has something for you. That life is worth the while. When you love someone, you'd give up everything to see them happy. Even though, it means giving up your life. Love is sometimes blind. You'll be blinded by it but you'll see it through your heart.

I am pretty much in love with my man, Iqmal Hijaz. He always put a smile on my face. I can't help but smile every time I'm around him. Even though, he can be a pain in the ass sometimes but he is pretty much perfect for me. He lights up the darkness in my heart. Whenever I feel lonely, he is always there to brighten up the room. We have that strong chemistry between us that is so hard to break. We bond perfectly. To me, a guy who can makes me laugh is a huge turn on and yeah he always does. Even though, it's sometimes can get intimidating but I love him. Maybe sometimes I don't really show how much I love him but trust me I do. He is different from any other guy I've ever met. He have this special thing about him that I just can't get enough of him. He makes the world a better place for me. He gives me a reason to smile. You know you've found love when you look in their eyes and find yourself and yeah I see myself. I feel very comfortable being around him, I can be myself and that's the most important thing. I don't have to pretend or to fake it. Everything comes naturally with him. True love stories never have endings and I hope mine would never have one. I love you more and more, Iqmal Hijaz ♥

Close To You,

2010-02-08T22:28:00.000+08:00

The cutest song ever, ♥

Life Lessons;

2010-02-01T11:15:00.003+08:00

Well, life is doing fine so far. Minus all the fights and dramas I can say that everything is on the right track for now. Like people say, you have to be patient and never give up because eventually things would fall into place by itself. Life is to short to be living in sorrow so just live your life to the fullest. Things have been weird lately, I never thought that everything would turned up this way around but I'm happy. I got my friends by my side and he is always there for me when I needed him, thanks a bunch (: Everything in the past, I putted it behind me. I'm ready to kick some ass in the future and enjoying my present. I realized that it's not worth it anymore to be regretting what has happened. It's just not worth my tears nor time. So, I decided to moved on and see things more clearly. There's better things ahead for me. Even though, at times I missed the past but life is just not worth it if you live with regrets. I come to see that we have to learn to take risks because you'll never know what's the outcomes. Whether it's good or bad make it as a life lesson. Try new things. Be whatever you want to be. Love like you never been hurt. Every second you waste by crying it's the time of happiness you'll never get back. Be good in whatever you are. If you're a football player, be the best. If you're a singer, be the best. If you're a doctor, be the best. If you're a dancer, be the best. If you're a teacher, be the best. If you're a clerk, be the best. Whatever you do in life, you have to strike for the best. You only live once so grab the chances while you still can. Appreciate what you have and never take it for granted because that's when you learn to regret.

I used to say to myself that I'll never love again because of the multiple broken hearts but look where am I standing now, I'm madly in love with someone who also doesn't believe in love after a broken heart. You never really stop loving someone, you just try to live without them. And with the broken heart, you mend the little pieces and learn to share it with someone else. Like people say, don't hate something too much because you'll learn to love it and don't love something so bad that someday you'll learn to hate it. But, to my point of view, it would always go back around. When you hate, you learn to love and when you love you learn to hate. So, it always go round and round. So, hate like you never been love and love like you always been hated. God never promise that life would be easy, He just say that it would be worth the while.
He is the best thing I never knew I needed. I'm thankful that God brought us into each others life's. Now, I smile everyday without knowing the reason but then I realized he is the reason why. When you pick up all the little pieces from two broken hearts and put it back together, it becomes a whole. Believe in what you desire. If you desire to love and be loved, believe that you can. Give it a chance. If you failed, have faith and restart. If you have faith in yourself, you make people believe that they also should have faith in you. Do what your heart tells you to do, learn to see with you heart.

Friends are created so that your heart won't be dull. Friends is what makes you smile when you just want to cry. Friends colors your heart like the rainbow. Friends is the reason you start fresh. Friends are the ones who stabbed you in back and tell you they're sorry. Friends are the ones who steals your boyfriend and come crying to you because he cheated and you still be there for them. Friends just make you do crazy things. Friends teach you how to forgive. Friends teach you not to trust so easily. Friends teach you how to lie. Friends teach you the truth. Friends teach you to be a bitch. Friends is a huge part of everyone's life. Friends is the biggest influence whether it's good or bad. You'll never get through a break up without your friends with you. You'll never want to go to classes because you got no friends. Even though, how much friends can hurt you, you still forgive them because friends are the ones who teaches you how to do so. Your life wouldn't be complete without a friend. You tell all your secrets to your friends, you share all your happiness and sadness with your friends. So, make friends wherever you are. Give them reasons to be your friend because once you do they can never get rid of you. Be a good friend if you want a great one (:

Two is better than One;

2010-01-24T19:25:00.005+08:00

Okay, where to start? I had a blast this weekend. I mean, I get to see my precious sayang (: Hehe. Even though, we got into a fight actually not a fight just a misunderstanding, we're still standing strong here in this planet earth! I love him :D You know that right sayang? I'm just afraid of the possible, that's all. Maybe, I'm just a bit paranoid. But, everything's cool now right. He arrived on Friday afternoon and we were supposed to see each other that night but he fell asleep. I was kinda pissed but not his fault. He was tired, cannot blame him. It was a two hours drive. Alolololo, kesian dia. Hee. He went straight to Curve from PD to buy our movie tickets, how sweet of you (: So, tak jadi marah.

After he said he was sorry because he fell asleep, we decided just to see each other the next day. So yeah, on Saturday we texted each other all day and at night we finally meet after almost a week being apart from each other, four days to be exact. We went for dinner and straight to the movies. Not exactly straight because there was a bit of time left before the movie starts so we walked around, doing stupid things (him not me) and went to the movie when it was about to start. Haha. We watched, Legion. It was overall okay. He was the one who wanted to see the movie so bad so I accompanied him. Besides, I missed him so bad. I was happy because I got to see him. Dia balik this week pun because he wanted to see me. Together everybody, awww (; Comel kan? Sayang you oh! After the movie, he send me home and he went to hang out with his friends. Rindu kawan kan so mesti nak lepak. I was tired and so I went straight to bed. Thanks for the movie & dinner my love. There are more of it to come! I love you.

The next morning, when I woke up I saw a text from him and it was timed at 5 am in the morning. So he must stayed up late, got back from the hang out late. And so I guess he must still be sleeping because it was only 8 am in the morning. I waited until 10 am and still no text from him so I decided to call him. He picked up the phone. I asked him whether he was still sleeping or what and he said that he just got up. He said that if he can make it, we can see each other before he leave. I said okay and we both hang up the phone. I went online for awhile and he did too. We talked through msn. He asked me what are my plans for the day and I said I don't know and was waiting for him. He said that I should plan it because it was his last day. I said he's the one who should plan it because his the one who's leaving. So, I asked him what he felt like doing. He said what about we go out for lunch. And yeah I said yes of course, all I wanted was to see him before he leave. So, it was planned out. He asked me to take my shower and so did he. And yeah, the planned was add up with the visit to ara damansara because zaid and oye wanted to see the house that theywere planning to rent. We decided to follow them. They picked me up at 2 o'clock and we went straight to ara damansara. It was quite near to my house, 15 minutes drive I guess. When we arrived, DAMN it was so hot! The heat was killing me. I was sweating. My sayang was being a sweetheart so he lend his cap to me for shades from the sun. Comel kan dia :D We checked out the house and zaid and oye was interested. So, all there was left to do is waiting for the confirmation.

On the hot sunny day, suddenly it rains! How great is that? We ran through the rain because zaid parked his car outside. It was fun yet funny! We were all wet when we got to the car. I was wiping the water from my body with tissues. And then, like planned we went for lunch. We were all don't know where to eat, so we end up eating at Santai. Hijaz was the only one who ate because zaid had eaten, oye wanted rojak and I wasn't hungry. After that, they send me home. When we got to my house, I hugged and gave my dearest sayang a kiss and went inside. We had fun this weekend. Waiting for more to come! ;D I lololove you Iqmal Hijaz ♥ Can't wait to see you next week! Till then. XOXO

You're the best thing I never knew I needed

2010-01-21T20:35:00.017+08:00

When I saw you I was afraid to talk to you.
When I talked to you I was afraid to hold you.
When I hold you I was afraid to love you.
Now that I love you I'm afraid to lose you.

If I could be any part of you, I’d be your tears. To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.

You are what I never knew I always wanted.

Telling someone you love them comes from the heart
The place that made you love them from the start.

The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in.

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control.

You know you're in love when you don't wanna go to sleep at night because your life is better than a dream.

Today I caught myself smiling for no reason... then I realized I was thinking about you.

A kiss without a hug is like a flower without the fragrance.

To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed.

To the world you may be but one, but to one you might be the world.

If a tear fell from my eyes, every time i wished you were with me
I would have a puddle of fallen wishes at my feet.

Love is like an eternal flame,
Once it is lit, it will continue to burn for all time.

Through the wind I hear your voice, in the clouds I see your name.
Living life without you just wouldn't be the same

It takes 3 seconds to say 'I Love You' but a lifetime to prove it.

A song isn't a song until you sing it
A bell isn't a bell until you ring it
Love in your heart isn't put there to stay
Love isn't love until you give it away.

A true man does not need to romance a different girl every night, a true man romances the same girl for the rest of her life.

My Darling, you know I love you ♥

Everytime you leave my side, I just fall apart

2010-01-20T21:53:00.006+08:00

You just took my breath away ♥

Eveytime I close my eyes, All I see is you

2010-01-20T21:52:00.000+08:00

I miss you :(

The Sweetest Love

2010-01-20T21:27:00.001+08:00

You're my sweetest love darling ♥
There's nothing sweeter than the love you bring.

Until the day I die, I spill my love for you

2010-01-20T17:59:00.005+08:00

I noticed that it's been quite awhile since I last talked about something here. So here I am, let's get started. Well, where to start? I'm having my Intervensi this week and this upcoming week. BM and English paper was overall okay. Maths was hard for me. I went out of my mind thinking ways to solve the questions. Man, I hate anything with numbers! Except for $$$. Hahaha. It's been almost two weeks since we're apart. But, he comes back for a visit on the weekends. I missed him! It's hard when his away because I'm used to having him here with me but I guess it's the best for us for the time being. We both want to focus on our studies.

Well, we text each other everyday. From day till night. We always text each other until I fall asleep. It's funny, though. It's like a routine. Sometimes, we'll run out of things to talk about and we'll ask the same lame questions again and again without even realizing it at times. Yeah, I know, we're a couple of lame idiots but who cares right? I love him and he loves me, that's the most important thing. The best part is, both of us is trying our best to get through this together. Sometimes, I want to cry from the thought that he is far away. Yeah, our love is put to the test. So, I need to stay strong for myself, him and us. I miss having him around. The touch of his embrace makes me happy. Every time I see his face, my heart smile. He is very clumsy most of the time and I need to do everything for him like a little baby. And, whenever I'm babbling he'll make this 'puppy-face' so I don't babble anymore. Sometimes, I just want to smack him! Haha.

His the perfect imperfect guy for me. I love everything about him, almost. He makes me laugh most of the time. I can't stop smiling whenever I'm with him. But, I hate when he makes me upset. All I wanna do is choke him to death. But, how can I do that right? He's my sweetheart. The one that brings you happiness is the one that always make you sad and the one that gives you sadness is the one that makes you happy. Did I get that right? Okay, whatever. You know what I mean. We always talked about the future and that we have to study hard to get what we desire. He is so eager to get married! And, sometimes I can't imagined living in a house with him. But, that doesn't mean that I don't want to spend the rest of my life with him. Just not yet, definitely not now. We got a long way to go. True love takes time. Like people always say, 'jodoh tak kemana'. And, I believe in that phrase. If I'm meant to be with him then nothing can tear us apart right. Sometimes, I also can't wait to get married because I want babies! Hahahaha. I love kids and it's a dream come true to have one of my own. One day! (:

Can't wait to see him this friday! It seems like forever. I miss his warm hugs :( I love you so much sayang ♥ Come back fast! Till then. I'll update more later. Toodles!

Stephen Speaks - Out of my League

2010-01-18T19:45:00.003+08:00

Someone dedicated this song to me (: How adorable is he! I love you sayang ♥

I want nobody, nobody but you

2010-01-10T15:25:00.008+08:00

I don't know what this is but I guess people call it as falling in love. It's been a long time since I last had a thing for someone and I guess the time has come again. It's hard for me to let someone in because of the past and the bad experiences I came to see from my friends. But, he has make me realized that not all of them are the same and he is different. It was hard to let him in at first, but I guess the sincerity he showed me make me fall for him even more. Even though, I ignored all of his I love you's and all but never for a second did he give up. That's what I like about him. And at last, with all his hard work and determination he won over my heart. And he never tried to be like someone else in front of me nor everybody else, he has always been himself. That makes me like him even more. We started to bond and now we're like inseparable. We see each other almost everyday during the holidays, it's like a must. We do everything together, not exactly everything but almost. All the times we had together was the best. I miss those moments. He loves to annoy me. Even though, it's annoying but I think it's kinda cute. But, when he gets on my nerves I would literally scream at him or just asked him to shut up. It's funny. He's like my little puppy. Sometimes, he would do everything I asked him to. He's such a sweetheart. We talked to each other everyday without miss. Whenever his not around it feels like there's something missing. His like apart of me. And now, he got to continue his studies at PD so we're not going to see other that often anymore. And I'll be busy with my spm. But, I know that we can go through this together. Even though, I'm totally gonna miss him but I know it's better that we're far away from each other for the time being because it gives us more time to focus on our studies. Besides, I got to face the biggest exam of my life soon so I need to really focus on my studies. Sayang, I trust you and you trust me right? I know we can do this and that we're gonna last. Take good care of yourself okay? I'll miss you like a whole lot :( Study smart! So, we can get married! Hahaha. Don't ever forget me. We'll stay in touch everyday. You're like my very own of theodore! ;D No one ever loved me like you do. I love you, my all <3

LIKE YOU NEVER EVEN EXISTED;

2009-12-30T01:46:00.005+08:00

Kau cakap aku tak reti nak sabar? Do you even know how long I waited for you, bastard? Kau cakap senang la, try putting yourself in my shoes. Kau tahu nak bagi alasan je memanjang. If you really did loved me, why didn't even bother to call or text me when you are already here in Malaysia? Tell me why?! Don't even start with your same lame excuses! Tak sedia lah, takut aku rindu suara kau lah, tah ape lagi lah. You didn't even show that you were eager to see me. Takde inisiatif langsung. Jerks like you is just predictable. You think that you can toy with me haaaa? I'm not that stupid to trust you for the second time. You can live your damn HAPPY life with your new chick because I don't give a damn! Lelaki macam kau, bersepah. Petik jari je boleh dapat. I don't know why but I trusted you. Damn, I was stupid. I was an idiot to even put faith on a guy like you. I wasted my heart for a jackass and I'm never going to repeat that same mistake twice. Aku tak paham betul lelaki macam kau! Kalau taknak, cakap lah taknak. Don't make people wait. You think whaaaaat, I'm just another priceless work of art in your gallery? No, thanks. You can do that with your other collections. The worst part is, I really did loved you and I trusted that you feel the same way about me. I opened my heart and let you in but you were an asshole. For crying out loud, why didn't I noticed that from the start? Urghhh. Kau cakap kau sayang aku? Just please stop wih all the bullshits. Give it a rest. Just get out of my life and stay away from me! You never EXISTED. Kau boleh pergi mati!

HEARTLESS;

2009-12-23T00:26:00.003+08:00

You're just another lying bastard. I don't know why but I trusted you. You're just sweet with words and good at breaking hearts. You said that you will always love me, that I'm the only one but you lied. You go and stabbed me in the heart, it hurts so deep it cuts down to my soul. You said that you are not like the other skanky jerks that have hurt me before but guess what? You're WORST. I just wished that I could turn back time where I never knew you. I wished that I could turn back time where I never missed you. I wished I could turn back time where I never wanted you and I wished I could turn back time where I never loved you. This is what I get for loving you? Thanks. You're really good at playing games. Guess that, you won my heart and I lost it to you. Dear God, what a mistake I made! I gave my heart to someone who doesn't even have one. You're just full of bullshits. You can go die with all your buried lies. I never taught that it would turn out this way but you chose this yourself. You make girls fall for you, and leave them with no mercy. I'm thankful that I didn't get to look at your lying face because it'll be my worst nightmare. I'm thankful that I didn't get to hear your voice because it'll be the last thing on earth that I want to hear. You can go fuck around with girls as much as you want. I don't care anymore. You're out of my life completely and I'm thankful. I never want to hear from you again, like you never existed. People like you belongs in the place like hell. I was an idiot that I trust someone who never even love me. It's all fake and lies. I will never make the same mistake again. The promises you made are burned to dust. Heartless is a strong word, and it really suits you. You are born with no heart. How can someone be so perfect in our eyes at the time and turn out to be a dick the next. I'm grateful that you're outta here, out of my life. I wished one day you'll feel how much it hurts when someone breaks your heart like you did to me and all the girls. And then, you'll know that you were the most fucking bastard of all. That everything about you is ugly. You'll regret all of this someday. When God shows you how it feels. You're just a worthless piece of crap. I can't believe how can I loved you. That's just sick! God, wake me up from this nightmare. Erase all of the memories of that jackass. Get him out! Just take him away. Make him suffer for the rest of his life. And make him feels how it hurts to love someone so much and then they leave you just like that. I wasted all my precious time for someone worthless as you. How can I do that? That's just stupid. Now I know. I'm awake now. I'm back to reality. I'm leaving all of it behind me and starting a new chapter. New me. Starting with new life, new friends and most definitely NEW MAN! And yeah, just so you know it's your lost not mine asshole!

THE FUCKING PROMISE

I am sorry you felt that way, I'm sorry I am too busy with my career and I am so sorry I am not like the Danny you used to laughed with and to share stories. I am still here Nad, I am. I'm not playing you around like this was all like a game. Yes, I love you, eventhough we haven't seen each other and even talk to each other. I don't know why I make this relationship this way. Maybe I doesn't want you to suffer, to miss me if i ever see you face to face. I don't want that to happened. All my guys were saying that I am nuts but when the special time comes, I'll seriously will be on bended knee and propose you. I'm not joking. I don't even mind if you want to date with someone else because deep down inside no matter what I'll always love you bie, I'm not like all those skanky jerks that have hurted you before. I'm not. I love you the way you are, I accept all your weaknesses as it is. Maybe people thinks that I am not serious about this relationship but the true fact is I am so committed with this relationship, I read your blog at the office everyday sayang, i mean everyday eventhough i don't get to msn you or comment you. Don't you ever cry cause i can feel it when you're sad. I ain't lying, my instinct tell things. At this time being i just wish we were like all the couples you've seen outside, holding hands, hugging each other, kissing, snapping pictures together, I want us to be like that but can those thing make our relationship last long? :( I want you to be with me til the end, I want to meet you too but you have to understand that I am yet so far from you but in my heart, you are so near to me. I'm scared to call you because yeah I'm afraid you'll be missing my voice when I'm not around. I am now crying like hell eventhough my guys told me I am like a chicken over a girl, I don't care if I am crying for yopu because you're my girl, my only girl sayang. I have

All Again For You;

2009-12-18T22:35:00.003+08:00

Every time he looks you in the eyes, there's a sudden urge that tells you he do really loves you, that he believes in you. Whenever he walks into the room, it's like falling in love all over again, like you've never even met. It blows your socks off, and all you can think about is getting to see him again, even if it's just for a second. It's like an addicting drug. You know whenever you go away, you look at your pillow, and you feel empty without him there. It's his scent, the warm feeling when he sneak and hug you from behind, and you feel for that instant, everything is okay with the world. Love makes you do stupid things. Love makes you draw those silly hearts on your paper, and hands. Whenever he hold your hands, you feel safe. And when you kiss, every thing's perfect. You can't even imagine living your life without him there. Even though, when you have not seen and talked to them in ages, and they walk in the room and time has not passed. When your hearts beat violently every time you see him. You always feel happy and content whenever his with you. You never want to let him go. You never want to see tears falling down from his deary eyes. When he tells you he loves you, it's the feeling that you never can describe, it's like being born again, seeing the world for the first time. You think about him constantly. You feel nervous whenever his around you. Wanting to be perfect for him, and be the only girl to him. Littlest thing amuses you, the way he talks, the way he walks, the way he blush, everything about him make your heart smile. You want to be the only one for him. Falling in love is easy, but staying in love is difficult. You give your best to make him stay. And hoping one day, he'll be saying I do, and now ''I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!''.

Do You Remember

2009-12-07T03:12:00.002+08:00

Hey! Jay Sean
Yeah! Sean Paul
Let’s go ahh!
This one right here is for all the ladies
Ladies who want to take it back
(i don’t know what Sean Paul said)
Holler at them Jay

I’ve been thinking about you
And how we used to be then
Back when we didn’t have to live we could start again

There’s nothing left to say
Don’t waste another day
Just you and me tonight
Everything will be okay
If it’s alright with you then it’s alright with me
Baby let’s take this time let’s make new memories

Do you remember do you remember do you remember
All of the times we had
Do you remember do you remember do you remember
All of the times we had
Let's bring it back (Bring it back!)
Let's bring it back (Bring it back!)
Let's bring it back (Bring it back!)
Let's bring it back (Bring it back!)
Let's bring it back

(Yo Jay Sing for these ladies!)

So long since you’ve been missing
It's good to see you again
How you how you doing
And how about we don’t let this happen again

There's nothing left to say
Don’t waste another day
Just you and me tonight
Everything will be okay
If it's alright with you then it’s alright with me
Baby let's take this time let’s make new memories

Do you remember do you remember do you remember
All of the times we had
Do you remember do you remember do you remember
All of the times we had
Let’s bring it back (Bring it back!)
Let’s bring it back (Bring it back!)
Let’s bring it back (Bring it back!)
Let’s bring it back (Bring it back!)

Yo ay girl yo bring it back to the time when you and me had just begun
When I was still your number one
Well it might seem far-fetched baby girl but it can’t be done
http://lyricsmusicvideo.blogspot.com
I’ve got this feeling fire blazing and it’s hot just like the sun
Know you feel it too my girl just freeze up and the …
(skipping so many lines can’t understand)
That’s what I heard that’s what I heard that’s what I heard word girl

There’s nothing left to say
Don’t waste another day
Just you and me tonight
Everything will be okay
If it’s alright with you then it’s alright with me
Baby let’s take this time let’s make new memories

Do you remember do you remember do you remember
All of the times we had
Do you remember do you remember do you remember
All of the times we had
Let’s bring it back (Let’s bring it back)
Let’s bring it back (Bring it back)
Let’s bring it back (Let’s bring it back)
Let’s bring it back (Oh)
Let’s bring it back

How I wished that you feel the same way as the lyrics in this song. I've been missing you so bad :(

Please, Forgive Me

2009-11-30T09:03:00.000+08:00

It still feels like our first night together
Feels like the first kiss and
It's gettin' better baby
No one can better this
I'm still hold on and you're still the one
The first time our eyes met it's the same feelin' I get
Only feels much stronger and I wanna love ya longer
You still turn the fire on

So If you're feelin' lonely.. don't
You're the only one I'd ever want
I only wanna make it good
So if I love ya a little more than I should

Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me

This pain I'm going through
Please forgive me
If I need ya like I do
Please believe me
Every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you
Still feels like our best times are together
Feels like the first touch

We're still gettin' closer baby
Can't get close enough I'm still holdin' on
You're still number one I remember the smell of your skin
I remember everything
I remember all your moves
I remember you
I remember the nights ya know I still do

One thing I'm sure of
Is the way we make love
And the one thing I depend on
Is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath I'm prayin'
That's why I'm sayin'...

I Lost You

2009-11-26T21:15:00.003+08:00

I could sit in this house
In this room, in this bed
Just as long as I’m feeling this way
And boy since you’ve been away
I cant sleep, I’ve been awake
I just lay here trying to deal with this pain..

Four walls and no you
The silence in this room is so loud
No one else can fix it but you

It’s just so hard to face
I lost you
Why’d I throw your heart away
Now I’m going down
Like I’m on the ground
I lost you, I lost you baby

I’m sitting here wishing I could change the past
Knowing deep inside I can’t get my baby back
I lost you, I lost you
Oh baby I just cant stand the way that I lost you

I’ve been trying
To put the pieces of a picture
Back together
But it just don't look the same

I feel sick I need a medic
Cause my heart’s stopped beating
And I feel like I’m slipping away
Four walls and no you no you oh
The silence in this room is so loud
No one else can fix it but you

It’s just so hard to face
I lost you
why’d I throw your heart away
Now I’m going down
Like I’m on the ground
I lost you, I lost you

I’m sitting here wishing I could change the past
Knowing deep inside can’t get my baby back
I lost you, I lost you
Oh baby I just cant stand the way that I lost you

And I don’t know how
I’m gonna make it
I’m going crazy
But maybe somehow
You can find your way
Find your way back to me

It’s just so hard to face
I lost you
why’d I throw your heart away
Now I’m going down
Like I’m on the ground
I lost you, I lost you

I’m sitting here wishing I could change the past
Knowing deep inside can’t get my baby back
I lost you, I lost you
and I cant stand the way
I just cant stand the way that I lost you

It’s just so hard to face
I lost you
Why’d I throw your heart away
Now I’m going down
Like I’m on the ground
I lost you, I lost you…

Better Off Alone

2009-11-26T21:10:00.000+08:00

One thing I'm wonderin'
When you run out of friends
Will you be coming back home?

Let's think this through again
Let's take a different spin
Why can't I leave you alone?

Somewhere tonight, you may be found
With some other girl you've been draggin' around
You lie to yourself, and you lie to me
It seems like the truth is your worst enemy

Cause baby I'm tired, tired of the fight
I'm tired of the lonely days and the dark endless nights
It's taken some time, cause I didn't know
If I could ever let you go
You helped me figure it out
I'm better off alone
I'm better off alone

I may be found, somewhere tonight
Cursing the day you walked into my life
What's done is done, I can't change time
But I'll be damned if I'm not gonna try
Oh I'm gonna try

Baby I'm tired, tired of the fight
I'm tired of the lonely days and the dark endless nights
It's taken some time, cause I didn't know
If I could ever let you go
You helped me figure it out
I'm better off alone

But every now and then, my heart gives in
To the hope that someday you'll change
Then alone I'll wake, to my own mistakes
That it's just a foolish game

I'm tired, tired of the fight
I'm tired of the lonely lonely lonely days and the dark endless nights
You didn't think, cause you didn't know
That I'd find the strength to let, let you go
I finally figured it out
I'm better off alone
I'm better off alone

One thing before I go
Something I've got to know
Boy, did you ever love me?

I swear, this time I mean it

2009-11-26T00:48:00.002+08:00

Oh, Florida, please be still tonight
Don't disturb this love of mine
Look how she's so serene
You've gotta help me out
And count the stars to form the lines
And find the words we'll sing in time
I wanna keep her dreaming
It's my one wish
I won't forget this

I'm outdated, overrated
Morning seems so far away

So I'll sing a melody
And hope to God she's listening
Sleeping softly while I sing
And I'll be your memories
Your lullaby for all the times
Hoping that my voice could get it right

If luck is on my side tonight
My clumsy tongue will make it right
And wrists that touch
It isn't much, but it's enough
To form imaginary lines
Forget your scars
We'll forget mine
The hours change so fast
Oh, God, please make this last

'Cause I'm outdated, overrated
Morning seems so far away

So I'll sing a melody
And hope to God she's listening
Sleeping softly while I sing
And I'll be your memories
Your lullaby for all the times
Hoping that my voice could get it right
Could get it right

You could crush me
Please don't crush me
'Cause, baby, I'm a dreamer for sure
And I won't let you down
I swear this time I mean it

And I'll sing a melody
And hope to God she's listening
Sleeping softly while I sing
And I'll be your memories
Your lullaby for all the times
Hoping that my voice could get it right

This song reminds me of you. What can I do? ;(

I can't smile without you

2009-11-26T00:36:00.002+08:00

You know I can't smile without you,
I can't smile without you,
I can't laugh
and I can't sing,
I'm findin' it hard to do anything.
You see, I feel sad when you're sad,
I feel glad when you're glad,
If you only knew what I'm going through,
I just can't smile without you.
You came along just like a song
and brightened my day,
Who'd believe that you were part of a dream
Now it all seems like years away.
And now you know I can't smile without you,
I can't smile without you,
I can't laugh and I can't sing,
I'm finding it hard to do anything.
You see, I feel sad when you're sad,
I feel glad when you're glad,
If you only knew what I"m going through,
I just can't smile.
Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find.
Well I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me.
And you see,
I can't smile without you,
I can't smile without you,
I can't laugh
and I can't sing,
I'm findin' it hard to do anything.
You see, I feel sad when you're sad,
I feel glad when you're glad,
If you only knew what I'm going through,
I just can't smile without you

It must have been Love

2009-11-26T00:34:00.000+08:00

Lay a whisper on my pillow
Leave the winter on the ground
I wake up lonely, is there a silence
In the bedroom and all around

Touch me now, I close my eyes
And dream away...

It must have been love, but it's over now
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow
It must have been love, but it's over now
From the moment we touched till the time had run out

Make believing we're together
That I'm sheltered by your heart
But in and outside I turn to water
Like a teardrop in your palm

And it's a hard winter's day
I dream away...

It must have been love, but it's over now
It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without
It must have been love, but it's over now
It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows

It must have been love, but it's over now
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow
It must have been love, but it's over now
From the moment we touched till the time had run out

For All Time

2009-11-24T13:52:00.006+08:00

I missed you. I don't know why I can't stop this feeling. I know that we're through but there's part of me that definitely don't want to let you go. I tried my hardest to keep my heart away from yours but it still wants to hang on. Why? Tell me why can't I forget you. I guess, maybe because you have been a huge part of my life and that's why it's so hard for me to even erase the thought of you from my mind. I dreamed of you to be with me and just put smiles on my face every time I listen to your jokes. I dreamed of you to be with me and bring joy to my heart every time I see your face. I dreamed you to be with me and be mine forever and always. I'm tired of feeling this way. I just want to turn back time and live the moment where you and I were like lovebirds who are madly in love forever. I missed those moments. I missed when the time you give me butterflies with all your sweet embraced. I just miss you to much, stranger. I don't know how to keep this feeling to myself. I just feel like crying my heart out and stop when there are no more tears to shed. I don't want to close eyes, don't want to fall asleep because I missed you baby. Cause even when I dream of you the sweetest dream will never do, I still missed you baby. I want lie close to you and feel your heart beating. I wondering what you're dreaming , wondering if me you're seeing. I want to kiss your eyes and thank God that we're together. I just want to stay with you in this moment forever. I don't want to miss one smile, I don't want to miss one kiss, I just want to be with you. Right here with you, just like this. I just want to hold you close, feel your heart so close to mine. And just stay here in the moment for all the rest of time. There's no words to say exactly how I missed you lately boy ;(

The Wind Blows

2009-11-23T23:51:00.002+08:00

I've got to breath, you can't take that from me
Cause that's all that you left that's mine
You had to leave and that's all I can see
But you told me your love was blind

I know there are times you're so impossible
That I should sign a waiver
And you will find someone worth walking on
When you ask me to go

I'll leave when the wind blows
Take a breath and away it goes
I'll be outside of your window
I'll pass by but I'll go slow
I'll leave when the wind blows

There was a day you threw our love away
Then you passed it to someone new
You wanna stay but since you wanna play
We can say we're finally through

I know there are times you're so impossible
And you ask me to go

I'll leave when the wind blows
Take a breath and away it goes
I'll be outside of your window
I'll pass by but I'll go slow

I'll leave when the wind blows
You can scream there's just echoes
I'll pass outside of your window
You'll be sad that you let me go
I'll leave but just know

As I lay in a solitude, oh what's a boy supposed to do?
I shake the very thought of you, me together I remember
Late nights when I stayed up late all I do is wait and wait
You're never coming home to me, that's the hardest thing to see

I'll leave when the wind blows
Take a breath and away it goes
I'll be outside of your window
I'll pass by but I'll go slow

I'll leave when the wind blows
You can scream there's just echoes
I'll pass outside of your window
You'll be sad that you let me go
On every face you'll ever know
And everywhere you'll ever go
You'll feel when the wind blows

This song is somehow what I feel about you right now. I don't want to lose faith in you, I mean I'm not but I just think that deep down inside all you want now is to let me go and just move on with your life. You don't need time for that, you can just tell me. Tell me what you' really feeling, what you really want right now. If you want to breath a new kind of air then there's nothing I can do then just to let you go and let you do what you want to do. I got no right on you. I'll miss you. But, I need to face the fact and just get on with my life. You don't need me anymore and that you want something new. I can see it clearly now. Just say it, no need to wait anymore. I just need to accept it, that you're not mine anymore, you're not my man anymore. It would surely hurts but I need to be strong and deal with this pain with a smile on my face. I want you to know that no matter what, I will always love you ♥ SDII

Hey Monday

2009-11-23T22:52:00.003+08:00

Last night, I sleepover at Nasha's house. So, we started our day by waking up and straight away watched the TV. We went online to book tickets for the upcoming movie Twilight Saga: New Moon. Then, we decided to take our shower and head to NKS to have our lunch. After, we feed our tummies then we went to Excalibur to hang around. We were bored as hell so we made up our mind to go to Mira's house. Before that I texted Adad to come and hang with us but he was busy so we went with the planned to go to Mira's house. It's her birthday today! Happy 16th Birthday My Darling (: You know I love you right? We walked from NKS to Mira's house and it took us like what? 20 minutes I guess. We arrived and Mira told us that she's going out with her mum later. How great is that right? We just walked miles for you then you tell us that you're going out?! What the hell? Haha. Just joking. We waited for Mira to get ready. Her new hair looks good (: So, after Mira's house we went to al-safa to eat, the maggi goreng melayu is so damn nice! ;D Been waiting for it for so long. Yummmy! After we've done eating, we walked again to Excalibur. And you what, everytime a car passed by they always honked at us and I don't even know why. It's not like we blocked their freaking ways or something. What do you guys want?! Get a life. Okay, carry on. We hang around then decided to go online for awhile. Something happened. Not gonna tell! Haha. And yeah, make up with mr-i'm-to-naive. We sort things through and we're cool now. I texted Pleng to come and hang with us. He said he was at Shah Alam and was planning to come back here to BSD. So, I said just come back will you and he said okay. Then, we head to NKS again. Nasha decided to eat 'Roti Bom'. It's been a long time since I had one so I went along with her. We ordered and then waited for the food to come. While waiting Pleng came out of no where. We waited for him for like an hour I guess. After that, Boy came. We talked and talked until there's nothing to talked about. Haha. Then, went to Excalibur AGAIN. I know right, we ain't got no life! What to do. And so, I asked them to come with me to see the haunted house that Nasha was talking about. So, we walked but then there was nothing there. I was dissapointed. Hahaha. Then, we walked back to Excalibur and guess who I saw? It's been two years since I last saw him. I waved and smiled at him. It was awkward yet funny. I was kinda shy so I ran inside Excalibur to find Nasha. I was blushed. Hahaha. Today was boring yet interesting. Yet more days to come (; Talk to you guys later.

Normal Saturday

2009-11-22T00:10:00.005+08:00

It's already pass 12 midnight so basically it's Sunday now. Yesterday was a bore. Nothing special. I didn't do much. I woke up at 12 in the afternoon. I don't always over-slept but lately I don't know why I've always wake up late in the morning. I'm not a heavy sleeper but maybe due to the lack of sleep. I don't have anything interesting to tell actually but what the hell just carry on. I was supposed to go to a theater workshop but planned was canceled. Nasha had a cold so we decided not to go yesterday. What's the point of going if you don't have that much of energy to even learn anything. So, for the sake of Nasha we postponed it to today. The workshop is actually for 9 days so we missed a day. I don't care that much anyway. I'm not even sure whether we'll be going to the workshop today or not. I'm not that interested in this kind of thing but Nasha insisted me on going and accompany her so I agreed. What are friends are for right ;D All I did yesterday was sleep, shower, eat, online, TV, phone and this. How exciting right? ;p Last night, I webcam with my pet brother name Kim, I always called him "Oppa". It's brother in Korean. It's been a while since we last talked. So, we decided to webcam. It was kinda awkward at first but then everything falls into place, I mean like we talked about craps and we got along pretty well. And yeah, it was funny yet fun ;D Well, starting from now onwards, I'll be really busy. I got so many things to do in so little time. I might be start working early December. So, after this I won't get that much of time to hang out with my friends anymore. And yeah, next year is the highlight of my highschool life, it's spm for goodness sake. I have to struggle my ass off to get straight A's. I need to show everybody what I got and that I also can get good grades for spm. Hmm. I missed my girls, though. Not to forget, the OSHA! I missed them girls too. And yeah, got into a fight with mr- i'm-to-naive. Well, I guess it's kinda of a misunderstanding. But, I don't care. I mean his the one who started it. So, he's the one who needs to finish it. A simple sorry won't be enough, though. I need much more than that. Show me that you really care, show me that you really sorry. Then, I'll consider. Okay, yeah I know. I'm being mean but hey, who says I'm nice? Haha. Well, my life need more excitements. It's kinda of a bore right now. I mean like, give me something here man! Well, today maybe I'm going to catch a movie with the bsdians. The last movie I watched was ''A Christmas Carol 3D". It was okay I guess, to me. I'm looking forward for twilight saga: new moon. I'm so not gonna miss it! It's a must, highlight of the week, absolutely. I promised my friends that I'll watch with them but I also promised the mr-i'm-to-naive I'll go with him. But,whatever yeah, we're in a fight anyway right. So, let's just see what happens next. Well, I guess this is it. I'm tired to write any longer so goodnight. Wait, I mean good morning. I'll update more later (;

WISHLIST;

2009-11-21T18:47:00.036+08:00

I want all of these, please please please! ;) It'll be awesome if I have all of these man! Work it huneeeyhhh! xD

and and all of these too! please please ;( can I can I? hehehe. It'll be the BOOM BOOM POW! xD

Oh maaaaaan! xx This killer heels, I'll love to have theeeem xD People would be 'Daaamnn, girl!' Hahaha. and last but DEFINITELY not least, this nokia N97 down here! Man, I want this please please! :D I know you want me, you know I want cha'! Hahaha xD

life we lead must be worth living;

2009-11-21T16:10:00.005+08:00

It's been almost sixteen years since I've been in this Planet Earth. I've learned a lot through experiences and the mistakes I've made. Childhood was the best stage of all the growth. You never have to worry about how do you look when you go out, you never have to worry of what would people say about you, you definitely won't give a damn when people bitch talk about you, you don't need to worry falling for someone or getting broken-hearts. All you think of is how to have fun :D I've been playing this teenage life for almost 4 years now and hell yeah it's been one hell of a ride. I've been through ups and downs. Getting hurt, being back stabbed, being cheated-on and so much more. Life is life a roller-coaster ride, sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down. Just live with no regrets. Things happens for a reason. You just need to accept it as it is. Never hold grudges because it would only hurt yourself. Learn how to love and be loved. Take risks. Grab chances. You only live once so live your life to the fullest. Life's is short so make the best of it. If you've been in love and you get hurt, just never give up. Have faith and restart. Getting hurt it's not always a bad thing, it sometimes shows that you loved sincerely. Love like you never been hurt. Never take things for granted. Appreciate things because you never know when would it be gone. Don't ever give up when problems strikes, just believe in yourself and know that everything will be alright. Be true to yourself. Give it all. Use everything that is given to you with wisdom. Like a saying 'When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away. When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. You've got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret.

Eleven Hints for Life

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose
it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been
missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth,
even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you
smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day
seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,
be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it
hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck
a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may
heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best
of everything they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone
around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die,
you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Trust your own intuition
Mix up your own style
Perfect your own look
Discover your own truths
Invent your own rules
Name your own destiny
Fashion your own path
See your own inner beauty
Originate your own character
Believe your own eye.

the best part of me was you

2009-11-19T21:27:00.005+08:00

I don't how to get through to you anymore but then I remembered that you said that you always read my blog like everyday so I guess this is the best way to let you know how I'm feeling. Hey stranger, how have you been doing? It's been awhile since the fight. I just want to let you know that I missed you. I know that we've been through a whole lot but I'm still here. Just tell me if you don't want to do this anymore because I'll understand. I learned that love is not always about owning, sometimes it's just about seeing the one you love happy even though it's not with you. If you love someone, set them free; if they comes back it's yours, if they don't it never was. I guess that along the way I learned how to see things more clearly. I mean, I learned how to accept things as it is. If going our separate ways is the best for us then I guess all I can say is believe in what is already meant for you. We are still young and still need so much to learn in this big world but life's is short so make the best of it. I want you to know that I've always love you all this time. Even through all the fights and tears, I'm still standing strong here waiting for you to come and sweep me off my feet. I missed the way we used to be, all the sweet things, the happy stuff, it's all one big memories. You said that you need time, so you can have all the time you need. I'm right here still hanging on waiting for you to let go or not. You said you don't want to see me sad anymore right? But, what if you're gone? That would definitely not carves smiles on my face. Well, I'll leave it all to you. You make the decision, I'll just accept it as it is. I need you to know that every single thing you've done for me, I appreciate it all. Every tears that I shed for you doesn't always mean it's a bad thing, it also shows that I loved sincerely. I know that you've been through hell but you need to know that I'm always here for you if you ever need me to. This thing between us make me believe that if you love someone and you get hurt, love them more. If it hurts more, love a whole lot more. If it hurts more and more, love some more until it doesn't hurt anymore. I've been loving you more and more. All I wanna say is, what can I do, when the best part of me was always you? ♥ SDII

You are My Life

2009-11-03T19:10:00.004+08:00

I love the way it feels when you touch my hand
I wish I was the one who was meant to filled the spaces between your fingers

Don't wanna let you go
I never did want to let go

I love the way you say that I am your man
Yes, you are my man. But, you took that away from me.

Don't understand why we can't go on and go on
I can't understand it either when all I want is to be in your arms.

Don't understand why
I never did.

You don't belong in my arms
Yeah, because that's what you think is the best for us.

Ohh

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
You never knew that you were never there to wipe away my tears in my sleepless nights.

Would you come back to me
If you want me too.

And even if I walked on the water
I'll walk along with you

Would you come out to sea
Yes, because you mean so much to me

Now I can't spend my life standing by
I can't live my life without you here

Cause even when I miss you
I miss you too much, you never knew

You're still not missing me
You're wrong, cause i feel it every second of the day

It's funny how my heart just won't let it go
Mine won't ever let you go

I just don't understand
I do, because I love you

It's crazy how the pain seems to overflow
The pain I feel can never be heal because you're gone

The memories of you here with me by my side
Bittersweet memories of you is right here with me

I can't deny that you are the love of my life
Well, you are my life.

Ohh

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
I'll cry along with you

Would you come back to me
I always want to be with you

And even if I walked on the water
I'll be right there with you

Would you come out to sea
If that's where I need to be

Now I can't spend my life standing by
I can't never live a day without you

Cause even when I miss you
I always did

You're still not missing me
I always have

And I still cry for you
My tears won't seem to go away

And I would die for you
I don't want you to, because I want you to be here right here with me

I can't believe all the words I heard you say
I was miserable when you left me here all alone

And I still long for you
I always want you to want me

And I was strong for you
I want to be strong for you too

I can't believe that you'd throw it all away
I'm not throwing it all away, I'm trying to let it go

I still cry for you
I still do too

I would die for you
I'm dying without you

I can't believe all the words I heard you say
"I love you?" I can't help it.

I still long for you
I want you to be mine, forever.

I was strong for you
I'm trying to be strong

I can't believe that you'd throw it all away
I don't want too, but you insisted

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
You'll never cry again because I'm already gone

Would you come back to me
Just say the word, and I'll be in your arms

And even if I walked on the water
I'd walk it for you

Would you come out to sea
I'd swim the ocean for you

Now I can't spend my life standing by
My life is gone because you're not here anymore

Cause even when I miss you
I miss you

You're still not missing me
Heartache.

I still cry for you
I am crying because of you

I would die for you
You don't need to, because you're not mine anymore

I can't believe all the words I heard you say
"I will always love you" I said. Sorry, that's just what I feel about you.

I still long for you
Wish you were mine

I was strong for you
I'm breaking down

I can't believe that you'd throw it all away
You're the one who's throwing it all away

Now I can't spend my life standing by
You were my life

Cause even when I miss you
This feeling is hard to describe

You're still not missing me
You were always the one that I think of when I thought of the Perfect Love should be

♥ SDII

Starlight Tears

2009-10-27T20:41:00.007+08:00

The thought of him makes the blood that's running through my vein bring to a boil. He gives me butterflies. He gives me the goosebumps. He always says things that I'd love to hear, things that make my heart melt like an ice cream under the hot sun. He shines the world with his jokes. He makes the world go round and make the ride worthwhile. I never met anyone like him before. But, everything changed. Now, his not there anymore to wipe my tears away in my sleepless nights. His not here anymore to carve smiles on my face. His not here anymore to ease the sadness away. I don't know what happened. I don't know why you changed. You told me that you'll always be there, that you'll always love me. But, all the promises you made is burn and turned to dust. You neglected your promises to me. Where did I went wrong? What did I do that make you changed your mind? You showed me the indications that you were my vitality but I guess everything has changed now. You used to make me believe that I don't need anything else that I have you but I guess you incredulous my believes. Now, you give me the reason to hesitate you. I used to think that you'll never leave me broken-hearted but I guess I was wrong. You give me another chance to play that part, a broken-hearted girl. You make me doubt your love for me. You make me adumbrate that you're gonna leave me here breathless. I wished all of that isn't true but I guess there's no more chance for me to dream anymore. You left me here with nothing but memories. Just tell me the truth if you don't want anymore. I will always stay strong and held my head up high and just move on with my life. Just say the word and I'll let go. You don't need to be a coward and hide things from me. Just be honest that's all I'm asking for. Is that too much to ask for? I'm willing to let it go even though my heart is crumbled into pieces. I've always been a strong girl and nothing can take that away from me not even you. All my shattered dreams, you disintegrate it all. You are not meant to be my fate and I'm not meant to be your destiny after all. I've condone all your mistakes. You have no debts to me. Thanks for everything. Thank you for your jokes, love, advices, care, and heart. But, I guess I have to return it all back to you. It's a privileges having a chance to perceive all of it. Just remember, even though you decided not to keep your words but that doesn't mean that I don't tend to keep mine, I'll always love you. What hurts the most is I don't get a chance to even hear your voice for the last time or even see you face to face but it's okay. I hope you'll find someone that you'll love with all your heart can give. Someone that can make you happy and brings joy to you every second of the day. Forgive me for all my mistakes and I hope I settled all my debts to you. I'm enduring all of this with open heart and maybe see the good sight in it. There's so many things left to say and too little words there is so I guess this is enough to utter what I feel inside. I guess this is good to proclaim what I've held in my heart. What is buried and hidden inside all this time. I know that I'm not perfect, nobody is. But, perhaps what I've given you up to this point is enough to profess how much I have let you in. I'm not an absent-minded person so I never will forget that I've promise you that I'll always be there when you need me and I am still here for you. Even though, everything is wrecked but we're still cool. I hope that we are now in the right track even though in our separate ways. I need to say those three words for the last time, I loved you, SDII ♥

broken-hearted girl

2009-10-23T12:44:00.006+08:00

My heart has been broken many times. The sadness is engulfing me. The walls are closing in on me. Sadness, hurt, and anger permeating the air around me. Choking me with their intensity until I'm on my knees. No sounds to be heard other than my cries. As the pain seeps into my veins bursting through my skin. Tears of blood run all over me. I'm on an never-ending path. Just me alone, loneliness as my friend in this dark and desolite place. No light is ever seen, no happiness left. All there is, is the dark path in front of me with walls that close in on me. And pain and sadness in the air engulfing my very being. A shattered heart tells many tales of times that a loved one has broken it. Many stories of painful moments that have left a heart torn into pieces and never whole. The gashes grow bigger with each moment it cannot undo or force itself to forget. A heart never forgets or trully heals it only mends temporarily until another tale is born. Excruciating heartache pounding on my chest to free itself of captivity. Wanting so much to make the person it loves trully happy. Those tales of the broken heart are not forgotten. Heart is kept in captivity to be guarded and watched. To never go through a similar tale again. Yet heat hurts because it's love is forcing it to forget. Therefore, the blood is falling with no signs of stopping. The pools of it filling the captivity drowning the heart. Heart wants to make the love happy but at what price is it willing to risk it or the love willing to risk it's well-being? How far will they both go? The answer is until one no longer exists like before. Hurting so much that I cannot hide it any longer and a river of tears flow down my cheeks to my pillow. Crying until I cannot anymore. Words the invisible knife that goes deeper with each word spoken until it makes it through. Words that then make a knife slice downward more each time with it’s painful intention. In the end, what is left is a broken heart, sitting inside depressed crying in pain. My mind can’t stand the heart this way. Free me from this heartache ;(

Forever and Always

2009-10-23T11:45:00.002+08:00

Where is this all going? Is it over? Are we done? I don't know what to believe anymore. I don't know who to trust anymore. I'm sick and tired of dealing with this. I want to get rid of this feelings but how hard I tried, I can't seem to let it go. I don't know what to do now. It seems that I'm lost in this messed up situation. What happened? Please tell me. One second it was perfect but now you're halfway out the door. I stared at the phone and he still hasn't called and you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all. And I flashback when you said ''Forever and Always.''

Once upon a time
I believe it was a Tuesday
When I caught your eye
We caught onto something
I hold onto the night
You looked me in the eye
And told me you loved me

Were you just kidding?

Cause it seems to me
This thing is breaking down
We almost never speak
I don't feel welcome anymore
Baby what happened
Please tell me cause one second it was perfect
Now you're halfway out the door

And I stare, at the phone
He still, hasn't called
And then you fell so low you can't feel, nothing at all
And you flashback to when he said
Forever and always

Oh, it rains in your bedroom, everything is wrong
It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone
Cause I was there when you said
Forever and always

Was I out of line? Did I said something way to honest?
Made you run and hide like a scared little boy?
I looked into your eyes, thought I knew you for a minute
Now I'm not so sure

So heres to everything
Coming down to nothing
Heres to silence
Thats cuts me to the core
Where is this going?
Thought I knew you for a minute but I don't anymore

And I stare, at the phone
He still, hasn't called
And then you feel so low you can't feel, nothing at all
And you flashback to when he said
Forever and always

Oh, it rains in your bedroom, everything is wrong
It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone
Cause I was there when you said
Forever and always

Didn't mean baby?
I don't think so

Ohhhhhh

Back up, baby back up
Did you forget everything?
Back up, baby back up
Did you forget everything?

Cause it rains in your bedroom, everything is wrong
It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone
Cause I was there when you said
Forever and always

Oh, I stare, at the phone
He still, hasnt called
And then you feel so low you can't feel, nothing at all
And you flashback to when we said
Forever and always

And it rains in your bedroom, everything is wrong
It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone
Cause I was there when you said
Forever and always

You didn't mean it baby
You said forever and always
Yeah

the promise you made

2009-10-21T22:21:00.002+08:00

I am sorry you felt that way, I'm sorry I am too busy with my career and I am so sorry I am not like the Danny you used to laughed with and to share stories. I am still here Nad, I am. I'm not playing you around like this was all like a game. Yes, I love you, eventhough we haven't seen each other and even talk to each other. I don't know why I make this relationship this way. Maybe I doesn't want you to suffer, to miss me if i ever see you face to face. I don't want that to happened. All my guys were saying that I am nuts but when the special time comes, I'll seriously will be on bended knee and propose you. I'm not joking. I don't even mind if you want to date with someone else because deep down inside no matter what I'll always love you bie, I'm not like all those skanky jerks that have hurted you before. I'm not. I love you the way you are, I accept all your weaknesses as it is. Maybe people thinks that I am not serious about this relationship but the true fact is I am so committed with this relationship, I read your blog at the office everyday sayang, i mean everyday eventhough i don't get to msn you or comment you. Don't you ever cry cause i can feel it when you're sad. I ain't lying, my instinct tell things. At this time being i just wish we were like all the couples you've seen outside, holding hands, hugging each other, kissing, snapping pictures together, I want us to be like that but can those thing make our relationship last long? :( I want you to be with me til the end, I want to meet you too but you have to understand that I am yet so far from you but in my heart, you are so near to me. I'm scared to call you because yeah I'm afraid you'll be missing my voice when I'm not around. I am now crying like hell eventhough my guys told me I am like a chicken over a girl, I don't care if I am crying for yopu because you're my girl, my only girl sayang. I have

Do you remember this? You once told me this. Were you being true? Do you still keep your promises? I just want to know because to tell you the truth, I'm dying inside ;( ♥ SDII

the moment of truth

2009-10-19T22:21:00.005+08:00

I don't know what happened but you changed. I don't know what did I do but you changed. I don't know what is wrong but you changed. I don't if you love me anymore but you changed. I miss the old you. I miss the way you make me feel. I miss the way you make me laugh. I miss the way you make me smile. I miss the way you make me melt. I wished that I can turn back time and live on that moment forever. I don't want us to be like this. I feel like there's a tension between us like a wall. I don't want anything to hold us back and make us drift apart. I know that you're busy with your stuff and I understand that. I'm not asking you to be here with me all the time just once in awhile just let me know that you're okay, and you're doing well. You are far away from me and yet I never think that for a second things would turned out this way. I know that you are stressed out with things but whatever it is, you know that I'm always here for you right. You can tell me anything. I mean, ANYTHING. I know that sometimes you think that I'm being such a pushover but what can I do. I'm just a normal human being, a girl with feelings. I missed you. I don't know what to say anymore. I don't know what to do. Everything is in your hands now. All I can do is, just accept things as it is. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I don't want you to keep hiding things from me. If there's things you wanna say to me, just say it. Even though, it will cause pain. I would just held my head up high and be strong, always. I don't want to get hurt all over again so I decided not to let anyone or anything get to me. I cannot deal with broken-heart anymore. So just please, don't let me be the last to know :( ♥ SDII

p/s; I Love You

The way you make me feel

2009-10-15T17:26:00.008+08:00

I decided to forget you. I decided to let you go. I decided to let it be and just go with the flow. I decided to change my mind and free you from all this sorrow. But, I also decided to always love you yesterday, today and tomorrow. Even though, you're not here with anymore but my heart will always go on with you. But, thinking of you holds me back. I realized that I'm not that strong to let you go. I'm not that strong to live without you. I'm not that strong to smile without you. I love you more and more with each passing days and I hope you feel the same way. I know that I haven't been that much to you but one day you'll know that you are always the one for me. No one ever makes me feel the way you do. You are like the sun that brightens up my day. You are like the moon and stars that lights up the darkness in my nights. I'm really sorry if I ever hurt your feelings. I'm sorry if I ever annoyed you. I'm sorry if I ever irritated you. When all you want to do is just choked me to death =D sorry sayang. Just don't ever leave me because I don't know what would I do without you here with me. Maybe I sound like a obsessive phychotic chick but you are always the one and only. I know that you are very stressed out. I want to understand you and always be there for you so please let me be. I know that I'm still an unknown stranger but there's something about you makes me feel that you are the one that I've been waiting for all this while. That my dream is coming true at last. I hope that this is not just a dream and when I wake up from this fairy-tale everything would be gone. I don't that to happen please tell me it's not true.

I couldn't have lived till now if it wasn't for you. I would have been so lost not knowing what to do. You put me together only now can I see. You make me what I am. You complete me. We're two different halves put together, we're one whole. Every beat of my heart is yours, everyday I pray for your soul. It's just your smile I need to see, when there's no other remedy. You put me together, you complete me. I'm too scared to let you go I never want to lose you. If you weren't here with me I'd never know what to do. All I feel now are joys, all my sorrows are history. What else can I say now? It's because you complete me. You have me always, no matter what you do. A gift I give my gift joyously. Nothing means as much to me as you. Nothing else so fully makes me, me. If I had everything that God could grant very little there would bring me peace. Enwrapped in you is everything I want. Rapture, warmth, affection, sweet release. So strong my love. So happy, sure, and strong. A thousand thousand years would not seem long. Reason tells me everything must end yet you will always be my lover and friend.

Love's not easy on the Internet. Words alone can be misunderstood. Love needs eyes and lips and hands to let. The hurt rest easy when the joy feels good. Lovers can't reach through the opaque screen. To underscore a message with their arms, to say with touch exactly what they mean. Or give the light caress that anger calms. Instead, they must rely on faith and trust, loving patiently a fleshless soul. Taking words for kisses cause they must with full communion their elusive goal. Be patient, love, and someday soon you'll see. My soul tell you what you mean to me. You're the bravest of hearts, You're the strongest of souls You're my light in the dark, You're the place I call home. You can say it's all right, but I know that you're breaking up inside. I see it in your eyes even you face the night afraid and alone. That's why I'll be there
When the storm rises up, When the shadows descend. Every beat of my heart, every day without end. Every second I live, that's the promise I make Baby. That's what I'll give, if that's what it takes. You can sleep in my arms, you don't have to explain. When your heart's crying out, Baby, whisper my name cause I've reached out for you. When the thunder is crashing up above, you've given me your love. When your smile like the sun, that shines through the pain, that's why I'll be there. When the storm rises up, When the shadows descend. Every beat of my heart, every day without end I will stand like a rock, I will bend till I break till there's no more to give, if that's what it takes. I will risk everything, I will fight, I will bleed I will lay down my life, If that's what you need. Every second I live, that's the promise I make Baby, that's what I'll give, If that's what it takes through the wind and the rain, Through the smoke and the fire. When the fear rises up, When the wave's ever higher I will lay down my heart, my body, my soul I will hold on all night and never let go. Every second I live, That's the promise I make Baby, that's what I'll give, If that's what it takes. ♥ SDII

p/s; I Love You

Gone without a Trace,

2009-10-07T20:49:00.003+08:00

Where are you? ;( I am missing you so badly. I've seen your myspace account last log in and it seems that you've been online lately but you don't even bother to drop me some comments asking how am I doing or whatever every time you went online. Are you mad at me or something? Did I do anything wrong? I don't know what to think right now because I don't want to jump into conclusion so quickly but I also don't want to be left here hanging. I need some answers. Don't leave me wondering like this. If I have make you mad or something please tell me because I don't want any tension between us. I miss talking to you and I hardly get to talk to you. I'm trying my best to make this work so please give me some faith and make me believe that you want this too. I'm tired of being like this all the time. I'm a girl with needs and I also need you to be with me sometimes. Yeah, I understand that you're busy with your work and stuff but can't you lend some time for me? I'm really trying my best at this and I hope that you appreciate it as much I appreciate you. I want you too know that even though you're far away you're always in my mind. I always talk about you to my friends when I miss you. They who don't even know you have already know you because of me. I need you to know that I think about you all the time and I need to know if you are too. I am not that strong to hold all of this in, I need some strength and my strength is you. You need to know that I've always have you here with me, even though not physically but mentally your soul is here with me.

I know that sometimes I can be impossible that you cannot even understand but please you also have to understand my feelings. The feelings that I cannot get rid off. You're the one who I never can forget and the one that I love to be around. I want to tell you how I feel in the deepest way but I'm not sure if you will ever understand, it is indescribable. Sometimes I feel that you never exist and I was just dreaming all along. The thought of that makes me want to cry my heart out. I never want to let you go but if one day you decided to leave me and came to realize that you don't love me anymore, I want you to know that you're one of the best thing that ever happen to me. If one day you decided that you love someone else, and where I just could sit and watch, I just want you to know that you are the best part in me. I will never regret loving you as much and I don't care if you do. I'll keep all the memories because you're one of the best memories. The bittersweet memories (; I will never forget you no matter what. I hope that I'm the one for you but if I'm not then I wish you'll find that special someone someday. Even though we're far apart, you're always here in my heart. ♥ SDII

p/s; I Love You

Guilty

2009-10-06T23:23:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling so guilty right now ;( My mum is crying and I don't know why. She had a huge fight with my dad, I have no idea what is it about. Maybe, it's about me and my little brother. I don't know what to do right now. I'm having all different kind of feelings right at this time and I don't know what to say anymore. God, please help me. Tell me what to do because I'm going out of my mind. I don't want to see my parents fight over us anymore. It's my fault that all of this happened and I'm deeply sorry. I know that my parents heart is suffering because of us and I'm feeling so guilty right now. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I don't know why I keep on hurting them again and again. I'm a very bad daughter and they don't deserve all this. I just want them to know that whatever happens I'll always love them no matter what. I hate seeing them like this, I never what to see them sad. I want to put smiles on their face. I want to make them happy and proud of me again. I missed the old times when the whole family would hang together and just make jokes and laughing together. That was one of the best moment of my life. Watching the whole family all together make my heart smile. I know that that time will come again someday. I'm truly sorry for all my mistakes. I'm deeply sorry for all the tears that have shed. I am really sorry that I can't put the smile I love to see everyday anymore. I'll try to change and I hope that someday I'll be the daughter that you really want. I want to fulfill every wished, your wish is my command. I'll try my best to make you guys happy again. I'm sorry :( Please, forgive me. I'll do the best I can to make you guys happy again and I promise that I'll try my best to change to be a better daughter that you guys can smile about. ♥

Dear to My Heart,

2009-10-01T19:49:00.005+08:00

I'm so glad that I get to talked to you today. It feels so nice having you around. Thanks for listening baby (: I'm so thankful to have you. You understand me so well. And yeah, I do trust you. I've put my faith in you so I hope you don't take it for granted. FYI, I think so far, you're the sweetest boy I've ever known. You make me feel so special sometimes and it gives me butterflies. You make me feel like I'm one of a kind. Like I'm the one you ever want and the only one you ever loved. And yeah you are very different from any other guys I've ever known and it's a good thing. Your imagination, the way you think, the way you put your words sounded like you're a well-mannered and very matured guy and I'm so glad. You make things seems so beautiful in your point of view even though at times I think that you have lost your mind but it kinda make sense to me. I can't wait till that special time comes because I'm dying to see you baby ;( I know that I may be impossible sometimes but it's just that I'm desperate for your voice. I never ask anything more than just to hear your voice and maybe see your face even from the webcam. I hope someday you would grant me my wished. I'm not asking for anything more just to see you and that will make me so happy. I'm sorry if you think that I'm asking too much from you but I'm just a normal human being. I need to see if this all real, I want you to myself. Don't take it the wrong way or anything, it's just that I'm also a girl who have needs. But, whatever it is you know that I'll always love you right? You know that better than anyone else so don't ever worry. I'm looking forward to talk to you again soon because I'm already missing you so much b ;( I know, I'm impossible right? But what can I do, I just can't help myself from missing you too much. ♥ SDII

p/s; I Love You

Forgave, trying to Forget

2009-09-29T20:48:00.003+08:00

I am so lonely right now. I need somebody to talk to. Someone that can make everything okay again. My tears is falling down and no one is here to wipe it away. I don't know what I'm really feeling right now. I'm so confused. I don't know what to think anymore. I'm tired of this. I'm sick of all the dramas. Sometimes, I just want to go far away where no one can find me and live happily with no burdens in my head, where my heart won't aches again. I want everything to be okay again, I just want a happier life. Is that too much to ask for? Sometimes, I feel that I'm caught in the situation and everything will be blame on me. Sometimes, people just takes me for granted. I tried to be nice and be good to people but in the end I'm the one who's ending up hurting. Why is that? Where did I went wrong? I never had any bad intentions towards people but I don't know, why people keeps on trying to hurt me again and again. Am I a bad person? Maybe this is the way to pay all my debts for what I've did wrong, for all the mistakes that I've done for the past couple of years. I know that I've not really been a really good daughter to my parents. I know that I've hurt them so many times. I think this is why all of this happening to me. I've hurt my parents and now the world is hurting me. I'm deeply sorry, mummy and daddy. I know I've hurt you guys a lot and you guys don't deserve that. But, sometimes I don't know how to reach out to you guys. I've been through a lot since I was a child and you guys know that. The scars run deep and maybe you guys didn't notice that. I've been through a lot as a child. I had to adapt all the things that wasn't supposed to be happening to me at that young age. Maybe, this is the way I expresses things. I don't really say it but I show it. You guys might not realized it but to be the only daughter and went through all of that wasn't easy. So, rebelling was the solution for me. Maybe that's the way of me getting rid of my grives. I've put all that things behind me but is not that easy to forget and just pretend that I don't really care. Sometimes, it makes me cry thinking back to the time all of it was happening and it was awful. I never want to be caught up in the situation again. I never really open up about this to anyone because to me it's really personal and that's why I kept it to myself all this time. Holding back all along wasn't easy to me and I need you guys to understand that. I know that everything has changed and it's not as it used to be anymore but bad memories never go away that easily. It takes courage and strong will to really put all the things behind you. People make mistakes and so do you guys and I forgave you guys for that I just never forget it. I hope that someday I can completely put all of this behind me and just move on. But, whatever it is all I want for both of you to know that I loved you guys to death. I'll love you guys no matter what because without you guys I will never be here. Whatever you guys did was in the past and what past is past. Let's just put it behind and live a happy life together as a family ♥

Dear God,

2009-09-28T12:46:00.010+08:00

You don't know how happy I am knowing that you still do love me. You bring joy to me and that's the most important thing. You make me happy whenever you're around and that's what I need. You make me fall for you every single time and that's why I'm so lucky to have you. Having everything feels like nothing when you're not here. I'm sorry that I have doubted your love for me because I was so hurt from missing you too much and sometimes that makes me think that you don't care anymore. But, now I know that you are not like all the guys I used too know. I want to thank you for loving me that much and for believing in me all this time, that means a lot to me. Thanks for accepting me for who I am. Just so you know, whoever you are whatever you've done I will always loved you as it is, you know that right? I can't wait for the moment when I get to meet you and just hold you tight and never let go. Where I can share all my stories with you and laughing together all day long. Where you can comfort me when I break down and cry, just wipe all my tears away and put a smile on my face. Just thinking of that makes me feel like I'm living in a fairytale. Every breathe I take nears me to my end I just can't live my life full of pretends if there's one thing that I'm allowed to do I wanna be close to no one but you. I want to be the girl you dream about each night, the one you cant help but think of. The girl you picture as you fall asleep. The one you smile at when you wake up. I want to be the girl you wrap your arms around, the only one you ever want to see. The girl whose lips are all you want to taste, the one that can satisfy you completely. I want to be the girl you cannot ever forget, the one you can never say goodbye to. I don't care to what people have to say because you're the one that I want and nothing ever gonna change that and the fact that I love you. I never want to see you cry so please don't. I know that you are sincere and thank you for that. I still wish that I can hear your voice, the voice that can soothes my soul. The voice that can make everything okay. I know that you think that if I hear your voice that it would make me miss you too much but I'm already am so it won't make any difference if I hear your voice now right? Whatever it is, I want you to know that even though you're far way, you'll always be right here in my heart. So don't worry, I am always right there with you. ♥ SDII

p/s; I Love You

I'm sorry, I miss you

2009-09-26T21:36:00.004+08:00

I'm sitting here all alone in my room thinking back to the time when I had you to talk too and how you set all my sadness at ease. I miss talking to you. Don't you? I miss the way you make me laughed just by hearing all your craps. I feel so happy when you're here with me. Please, don't leave me like this. I need you. I really do. Do you really meant it when you said you love me? Please say you do because I honestly believed in you. I just can't take this anymore. I want you to be here with me so I can share all my happiness and sadness with you. Please say that you're still mine. I don't want to say goodbye. I need you here close with me because I can't stand staying far away. Do you feel the same way? I really do love you. Even though, you still kind of a stranger to me but you are my perfect stranger. I'll be your everything and you'll be the only thing that I would ever need. I wished that I can hear your voice, I miss you. Heartache. It hurts so bad from missing you too much. Don't tell me that you're done, don't tell me that you don't want and please don't tell me that it's over. I know sometimes I make mistakes too and I'm sorry for that. Sometimes, I don't even realize. If I ever hurt you in any way, believe me I'm deeply sorry because I never meant too. I know that sometimes I do things that you can never understand. I know that sometimes you feel that I'm just playing around, I know that sometimes you think that I'm not serious but trust me deep down I really do love you. Maybe sometimes I don't show it but that doesn't mean that I don't. I know that you know that I do. Sometimes, just thinking about you make me insane. I'm so desperate for your voice ;( I need you to tell me that this is not just some kind of fairytale because my heart will break. That would make me a broken-hearted girl and I don't want that. I don't want a broken heart. You leave inside of me and I don't want to take a breath without you, I don't want to play that part. I have let you in so please don't tell me that you want to walk out of it. Say that you still love me, say that you still want me, say that you don't want to let go because I never want too. I can't help myself from falling for you every time so please stay. I'll always be there at the end day so don't worry because I'm always here for you whenever you need me. I miss you so much so please come back ;( ♥ SDII

p/s; I Love You

'I Love You'

2009-09-13T21:56:00.008+08:00

This is a love story. Enjoy (:

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…

“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.
“I can’t”
“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me.
“No. I am going to meet a friend.”

He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…

Then one day…

Me: Um, Jin, I …
Jin: What…don’t drag, just say..
Me: I love you.
Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.

That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many…
Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
Me: Jin…

Jin: Here…take this…
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me: What’s this?
Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.
Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Jin: Today? Huh?

I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then I shouted… “Wait…”

Jin: You have something to say?
Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…
Jin: What?!
Me: Tell me

I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.
“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”
That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday.

After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.

Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?

I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…

Me: I don’t need it.

Jin: What….why…

I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.

Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!

I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.

“I’m sorry”

He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…

Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!

But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then…

Honk~ Honk~
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.

“Jin! Move! Move away!”

I shouted… But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.

“Jin, move!”

HONK~!! “Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.
That’s how he went away from me. That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls.

Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…

“One…two… three…” That was how… I started to count the dolls…
“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…” It all ended with 485 dolls.
I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…

“I love you~, I love you~”

I dropped the dolls,shocked.

“I….lo..ve…you??”

I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.

“I love you~ I love you~”

It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.

“I love you~”
“I love you~”
“I love you~”

Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn’t I realize that….That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much… I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much…

“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”

The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute…

For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a beautiful life.

Purest of Pain

2009-09-12T09:51:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry I didn't mean to call but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it and so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm gonna to live without you and maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but there's something baby that you need to know that deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.
Vida, give me back my fantasies the courage that I need to live the air that I breathe
Carino mio, my world becomes so empty my day's are so cold and lonely and each night I taste the purest of pain.
I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day that it didn't hurt me when you walked away but to tell you the truth I can't find my way and deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.
Vida, give me back...

How I wished you knew, how much pain I endured when you walked away out of my life. You thought that is better that way but you were completely wrong. And this song explains everything of how I felt about you until today. Even though, we decided to go our separate ways but did you knew that I stay in love with you every second of the day. Never have I forget the times we had together and the joy that we bring to each other. You know that I love you and always will. I've said that before and I'm gonna keep on saying it because I don't want you to forget how much I have let you in. I completely let you into my heart and there is no way that you're gonna walk out of it. I learn to live my own life without you and I think I'm getting better to it. Just know that whatever happens and how far life takes me, you were always the one that I think of every single night before I go to sleep because you were the one who gives me the courage to start a new day ahead of me. Even how many person that's gonna walk into my life, you were the first that really walked into my heart and I thank you for that because you taught me how to love and the beauty to it. Getting hurt doesn't always mean you suffered, it also means that you love sincerely and I did. Thanks for everything, my first love ♥

Beginning to Realize

2009-09-10T15:27:00.007+08:00

You said that you have done a horrible thing but don't worry because to me you're still my perfect guy (: And I never want to leave your side because that's the only place I want to be. You're the only one that I want and you're the only want that I need. This is a song that was dedicated to me by my man, SDII ♥ The song is called, she was mine by Jesse Barrera feat. AJ Rafael (:

So I hopped on a train,
Three in the afternoon
I don't know when I'm coming back,
But I hope that its soon,
See I never thought (never thought)
that I'd have to leave your side.

Its only physically,
But know that you will be on my mind,
Twenty four hours at a time,
'Cause in my eyes you were mine (you were mine).

No matter where you go,
I won't be very far,
'Cause in my head I'll be right there where you are,
'Cause love has no distance baby,
Love, love has no distance baby,
No, not when it comes to you and me.

See she wrote me a letter,
Said the weather wasn't better,
But she said that she was doing fine,
I wanna see you face to face,
That's what she wrote to me that day,
And I knew that it was all a sign.

So I wrote back with this song,
Promise it won't be too long,
Wanna make up for all our lost time,
'Cause in my eyes you were mine (you were mine).

No matter where you go,
I won't be very far,
'Cause in my head I'll be right there where you are,
'Cause love has no distance baby,
Love, love has no distance baby,
No, not when it comes to you and me.

So I'm lookin through these boxes.
My life's gone off track.
'Cause its been three years.
She hasn't written back.
But in my eyes.
She's still mine.

And I know it sounds so stupid,
To be waiting this long,
But I'm still in love and I know I'm not wrong,
'Cause in my eyes,
She was mine.

No matter where you go,
I won't be very far,
'Cause in my head I'll be right there where you are,
'Cause love has no distance baby,
Love, love has no distance baby,
No, not when it comes to you and me.

Isn't he such a sweetheart? Together, awww everybody. Haha. And yeah, I'm still and always will be yours baby (: Whatever happens just say my name, I'll be there for you. Through thick and thin, just take my hand and I'll be right beside you, always. Just hold on to me and please don't ever let go. I'm beginning to realize that even if I have every single thing in this world but I'll still be nothing without you here with me. So please, be mine always ♥

You make me Fall in Love, Everytime

2009-09-09T20:26:00.008+08:00

Baby, I love you. I tried so hard finding the right words to describe how much you mean to me but its just indescribable. Love is the ultimate prize in life, and I won that because of you. The description of love is found in every smile, every pounding heart and every sweet taste of every single kiss and I'll show that to you. Love is an emotional feeling deep inside every human soul and deep down I felt the love within my soul. You are the one who always been there for me whenever I'm feeling down. You're the one who always been there for me every time I'm feeling happy. You're always been there to see me through it all and I love you for that. Even though, you left me for quite sometime but I still hear my racing heart, pounding in my chest, every beat pulling me closer to the reigns of love and that is you. The empowering smell of love in the air drives me insane, and I feel the strength of the grasp of love upon my soul because of you. Love looks like the wind because it is not literally visible but it can be felt, to the saying that sometimes you have to believe to see. I always wanted to feel your warm hugs and your soft kisses and waking up in the morning sunshine with you by my side. I want to see the stars at nights and feel your warm breath on my neck. I want to see the beautiful sunset with you and just listen to your heartbeats. I want you to come knocking at my door with bouquet of flowers just to tell me how much you love me. I want you to call me in middle of the night telling me that you can't stop thinking about me. I want to be on the phone with you for hours and just listening to the sound of your breath. I want you to kiss me so passionly that even the people you hate can feel the pleasure. I want you to look at my picture every time you go to sleep. I want you to be there when I fall and tell me that every thing's gonna be alright. I want you to want me every time. Sometimes when you disappoint me, I came to think that you don't care anymore but you make me fall for you every single time and I don't know what to do. You're very special to my heart. You're like a medicine that cure every wounds. You're like a fairytale that never going to end because my love for you is eternal. Let me be the only one for you. Loving you is like a journey with no end. Loving you is like taking a roller coaster ride that is worth the while. You can never understand how I feel, because how many pages of love letters I write its never gonna be compare to how I felt about you. You teach me how to love again when all I want to do is stay away. You teach me how to smile again when all I wanna do is cry. You teach how to care again when all I wanna do is hide. You make everything alright. And if this what you have to say,

''Baby I'll admit, I made a mistake, I left you for quite long, I've been doing it again and again. I'm so unpredictable you dont know what to think, I'm so unemotional. Wonder if you're still in love, I don't know how to apologize to you anymore, It's getting harder this 2nd time around. I'm sorry.''

And all I can do is say, I can't forgive you because there is nothing to be sorry about. You make the world a better place for me so I thank you for that. Just say the word baby, and I'll be there. There is nobody like you, you just take my breath away. No one can be compare to my one and only man, SDII ♥

p/s; I Love You

Pretty Boys

2009-09-09T11:54:00.006+08:00

Aren't they just ~~SUPER ADORABLE~~? I felt in love with them from the moment I first saw them. They're just that adorable, the cutest babies I've ever seen. I want you little dudes so badly ;( I want to squeeze their cheeks and hug them and just never let go ♥ The one with the straight hair is Hazriq Jaquim and the one with the curly hair is Hazril Bryan. Aren't their name just so macho man? *wink. I want them to be my future husband and have them to myself? Puhleasee :( They're just so young so I don't think so right? Nevermind. I wish one day when I get marry I'll have babies just like them. I bet when they all grown up they'll be the most wanted guys in school. The hottest dudes. Uhlalala! If only I'm not that older then I could date them (: When can I see you guys? I'm dying to see them. When you guys come back for Raya, I'll never let you guys go back to Vietnam. I'll keep you little dudes here with me and I'll be taking you guys out eveyday and everywhere and just show you guys off to the world. 'I got the cutest baby brothers, jealous much?' Well, atleast I get to dream right? I won't be that evil and take this little guys from their precious mummy, no worries aunty! (: Hazman, you can have your little baby brothers but can I be their best favorite sister please? :)When you guys get here, can I just have them for the day? Just grant me my wished and I'll be so happy. I'll be waiting for you hoping that you'll make my dream come true. ♥ And here are some of the pictures of my pretty boys, they're just so photogenic. Enjoy :)

Left Unspoken

2009-09-08T21:17:00.016+08:00

You said that you'll be there for me through it all. You said that you'll catch me when I fall. You said you'll wipe all the tears that I shed. You said that if I'm not there you'll be dead. I wanted you to be there when I fall. I wanted you to see me through it all. I wanted you to hold me close in your arms and be forever that you want. I wanna fall in love with you everyday and always stay that way. I wanted you to show me how down deep you wanted me and how bad you want it to be. I want to feel your breath on my neck when we whisper in the nights. I can't go on without you because I'm not that strong so tell me what to do. Now, look what you've done. I never thought that I can love you the way I do. I don't want to wake up without you by my side. You're the reason why I wake up everyday with a smile on my face. Looking at your beautiful eyes make me lost in your sight. I wanna be there whenever you're down and all you can do is frown. If you were mine, I would tell everyone that you're the only one that I could ever want. If you were mine, you'd be my everything that all I could ever imagined. You make me wanna call you in the middle of the night, you make me wanna hold you till the morning light. I never felt this way before, you're the only one that I adore. I can't go on this way, all you need to do is show me the way. Just give me your hands and forever will begin. You belong with me and forever that will be. I wanna be with you and I know we'll make it through. Your love is what I preserved so come on and give me what I deserved. So, what would you say if I kneel to the ground and pull out a guitar and sing 'Marry me Romeo, you never have to be alone I love you and that's all I really know ♥

When you're the Best of Friends

2009-09-08T16:31:00.026+08:00

Last Sunday, I was at Nasha's house. I went for a sleepover the night before. We slept at 1.10am and were so damn tired from all the walking at One Utama on Saturday that we woke very late the next day, around 12 in the afternoon. The must routine in my every day life is checking my phone every time I wake up from my good sleep. So, I got up and straight away reached for my phone on the desk that was opposite the bed. There was a text from Syazmir. And it says '' Wey kwn2 ku yg trsyg. Jom tgk wayang and buke puase skali. Nk?'' And, the time of the message was at 4.30am. Ohmygod, he texted me so early in the morning and it was like during Sahur, okay whatever right. So, I replied the text and said '' Jum. What time nak tgk movie?'' Nasha checked her phone and there were 3 messages. One was from Mira, one was from Syazmir which was the same exact message that I received from him and one was from someone else. So, she replied the messages. After that, both of us was so blur that it took us like 5 minutes to get our head's cleared up. I was like, ''Nasha, apehal dengan kau?'' because she was like stuffing her head with the pillow. Then, a few second later I randomly lied down my head on the desk's chair when my body still on bed. Nasha straightly says, ''Kau pulak apehal do?''. And, we ended up laughing and each other. Few minutes later, I decided to take a shower and so I did. I went to the bathroom and showered for about 15 minutes approximately. I didn't bring a change of clothes with me because the whole sleepover thing wasn't planned out earlier. So, like the usual thing I'd always do, borrow Nasha's clothes instead. Thank you for that biatch! xx Iloveyou. This was the worst part of all, picking out what to wear! I took about half and hour to put on some clothes and still not satisfied. Then, at last I decided to wear a long black dress. It was like a dress to be worn for a prom or dinner but it also can be worn anywhere. So, Nasha tag along with me and decided to wear a dress too that she left at Mira's place so she decided to get it from her. She tried calling Mira for the thousand times but she didn't asnwered so we decided to just go to her house straight away instead. Nasha called Fazril and asked him to pick us up and we went down to the lobby because her house was a Condo so we need to go and wait for him at the entrance and Nasha didn't even shower. Whatever, we just going to get the dress from Mira and go back home right? So, what the hell. Nobody cares. Fazril drove us to Mira's house. How good of a friend is he right? (: Sayang kau la. Then, we reached Mira's house and Nasha went in to get the dress from her. Then, fazril drove us back to Nasha's place and he went back home. Nasha showered for around 15 minutes and both of us started getting ready. While we were getting ready, Syazmir called. He said that he just woke up and it was like what, 2pm. How great is that? I asked him who else was going, and he said Mira, Nasha, Fazril, him and of course me. But, Mira was not sure whether she was going or not. She needed to ask her parents for permission first. We decided to go to Curve. And he said that his mum invited us for buka puasa at Royale Bintang Hotel. Syazmir got a guitar lesson that day and his lesson finishes at 4 at it was like 2.30pm i think at that time. He asked me to tell Fazril to pick him up from Yamaha after he finishes his class. So I texted Fazril and he said that he can't go out till 5.30pm. So, I said try telling that to Syazmir. And, he asked me to do it for him. I was so lazy like I always have so I just ignored it. Then, Nasha and I started getting ready again and guess what? Nasha decided not to wear the dress that we just got from Mira, the dress that she wanted so bad to wear and at last decided not too. She said that she looked fat in the dress when her body is a body to die for. I know right, what a crazy bitch! Sorry Sha, Iloveyoualways. xx Haha. And yeah, Mira texted Nasha and said that she can come along with us. Yeay! Iloveyou. Nasha started picking up some other clothes to wear until she found a very sexy top and decided to wear it with the cutest wedges. But then, she kept on saying ''the wedges doesn't match my top'' and on and on. I said that 'It looks okay, you look nice'' and she said that she doesn't but seriously she looks fine. I was so feddup that I decided to just shut up and don't give her anymore opinions instead I just say 'okay' to everything she tried on. Haha. No worries. I still love you, though. And she ended up wearing what I suggested which is the sexy top and black skinny jeans with a pair of gladiator. After that, I was the one who wasn't happy with what I was wearing so I decided to change witth what I was on. I changed into a knee-length white dress. I wore it with a pair of white wedges. Both of us was happy because at last we did get something to wear. Thank God. But, seriously Sha we need to go shopping though! Then, we tried calling Fazril so many times and he didn't picked up. He off his cellphone and I know that he was sleeping because he said so before. We were so feddupp. That crazy bitch! Tak sayang dah do! Haha. And yeah, Nasha's mother decided to come along with us. We waited for her to get dressed after 15 minutes we were all ready. And we called Syazmir and asked him whether he wants to come with us or just wait for that bitch to wake up, hahaha. And he said that his afraid if he decided to come with us and suddenly Fazril wake up and he'll be all alone and if he decided not to come with us his afraid that Fazril decided not to come along and he doesn't know who to go with. That stupid biatch! xD At last, Syazmir asked for a lift from his friend and everything was solved. Nasha, Nasha's mother and I went out off the house and straight away drove to Mira's house to get her. While we're on the way to Curve, guess who called? That Fazril! He asked about where were we and I said that we were already on our way. Nasha screamed at him on the phone. Serve him right! Haha. He said he was coming with Syazmir. Then, I hang up. It took us about 15 minutes to reach Curve. It was not that far from Bandar Sri Damansara. Nasha's mother parked the car and we went in. We walked for about 20-30 minutes and decided to go and eat at Paddington House of Pancakes because the planned to eat at Royale Bintang was cancelled. And guess what, the four of us was not fasting, I mean cannot. Haha. How cool is that? So, we ordered and asked the waiter to start serving at 7.15pm and it was like 6.30pm at that time. Tak puasa pun, still hormat jugak tau x) While waiting for the guys, we took some pictures. This is some of the pictures we took (: Sorry Mira, there's no picture of the both of us together :(

Then, after a while Syazmir and Fazril reached Curve. They went to meet us at the restaurant. We talked and talked until it was time for buka puasa. Syazmir went down to Royale Bintang because the restaurant was at the upper floor and Fazril stayed with us. He said 'segan do!' and I was like 'relax sudeh la.' And all of us started eating except for him because he ordered the food late. Padan muka! x) The food was not bad. The pancakes was the best of all! Yummmy (: After all of us finished eating we went to send Nasha's mother to her car because she need to go for her shooting. She's an actress (: Sorry, forgot that little detail. Then, after sending Nasha's mum to her car we went up to the cinema to see what's the best time to watch Final Destination 4. And oh yeah, me and Mira decided to invite Dashriq along. I texted him even before buka puasa and he said yes. We bought the movie ticket for 8.45pm. We waited for Dashriq and Syazmir. We went into the cinema. The movie was good but freaking disgusting and scary. And yeah, fazril had to go home just after 10 minutes after the movie started. His younger brother was sick and he needs to send him to the clinic. Pity him, get well soon (: Sorry for missing out Fazril. After the movie finished, we when up to the rooftop (favorite place) while waiting for Mira's sister to pick us up. The place is the best place to find your innerpeace. We waited for about 20 minutes and went down to Royale Bintang because her sister was waiting for us there. Dashriq went to see his friend so we went our separate ways on the way to Royale Bintang. Mira's sister was pissed because we were late and she kept on talking with a rough tone. I was kinda scared. Sorry Kak Myra, menyusahkan :( She send us back home and then I went to bed. It was one hell of a day, Iloveyouguystodeath. xx Hope we can do it again soon.

This is a little something for you guys (:

I still remember the first day we met we were too shy to say much at all
It's funny to think back to that time because now we're having a ball!
They say that true friendship is rare an adage that I believe to be true
Genuine friendship is something that I cherish I am so lucky to have met you.
Our bond is extremely special, It is unique in it's own way
We have something irreplaceable I love you more and more each day.
We've been through so much together In so little time we've shared
I will never forget all the moments that you've shown me how much you cared.
Friends are forever, especially the bond that you and I possess
I love your fun-filled personality, somehow you never fail to impress.
The world could use more people like you it would certainly be a better place
I love everything about you, You are someone I could never replace.
You are always there for me when my spirits need a little lift
I cannot thank you enough for that, You are truly an extraordinary gift.
You are everything to me and more I could never express that enough
Life is such a treacherous journey, and without you it would be even more tough.
Our story will continue to grow with each passing day
Because I trust that with you by my side everything will always be Okay.
You are so dear to me, You know I will love you until the end
I will always be there for you, and You will always (and forever) be my Best Friend.

Forgive and Forget

2009-09-07T23:26:00.006+08:00

Forgive is to forget what people might have done towards you. Forget is to forgive all the mistakes that have been done. If you love somebody, try to forgive and just forget. It would not be so easy to forget but its never easier to hold grudges. Learn to accept them for who they are and what they've done. That is what love truly is. People make mistakes and learn from them and we don't have the right to punish them for it because that is God's job. How bad is the mistakes though, punishments can only be done by the up above. We are humans who can never run away from making mistakes so just try to learn and live it. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and and discover that the prisoner was you. There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love. You just have to make the best of it. When you learn to forgive people, you'll learn to hate hatred. When you slowly try to forget, you'll learn that it's better.

Forgiveness is God's invention for coming to terms with a world in which, despite their best intentions, people are unfair to each other and hurt each other deeply. He began by forgiving us. And he invites us all to forgive each other. I never think that I'll forgive the people that have hurt me so bad but then I came to realized that there is no point in holding grudges because you'll suffer more just thinking about it. So, I learn to slowly forgive people and the pain was set at ease. You never know until you try. Everybody have regrets, just slowly let the love in and forever hold your peace. People make mistakes because they are meant to see the consequences of their actions. People are meant to fixed what has been broken. Forgiveness and letting go can lead you down the path of healing and peace.

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Your mother criticized your parenting skills. Your friend gossiped about you. Your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness and even vengeance. The people most likely to hurt us are those closest to us. Our partners, friends, siblings and parents. When we're hurt by someone we love and trust. Whether it's a lie, betrayal, rejection, abuse or insult. It can be extremely difficult to overcome. And even minor offenses can turn into huge conflicts. When we hold on to pain, old grudges, bitterness and even hatred, many areas of our lives can suffer. When we're unforgiving, it's we who pay the price over and over. We may bring our anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. Our lives may be so wrapped up in the wrong that we can't enjoy the present. So, forgiveness is the best way. Never let grudges get in the way of everything. You can't never live a happy life if you do that. Just be someone who can take everything with open hands and thank god for it because He has make you a better person than you are today.

I Turn To You

2009-09-07T20:37:00.004+08:00

When I'm lost in the rain
In your eyes I know I'll find the light
To light my way
When I'm scared
Losing ground
When my world is going crazy
You can turn it all around

And when I'm down you're there
Pushing me to the top
You're always there giving me all you've got

For a shield from the storm
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength to be strong
For the will to carry on
For everything you do
For everything that's true
I turn to you yeah

Oh when I lose the will to win
I just reach for you
And I can reach the sky again
I can do anything
'Cause your love is so amazing
'Cause your love inspires me
And when I need a friend
You're always on my side
Giving me faith
That gets me through the night

For a shield from the storm
For a friend, for a love
To keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength to be strong
For the will to carry on
For everything you do
I turn to you yeah

Ohhh
For the arms to be my shelter
Through all the rain
For truth that will never change
For someone to lean on
For a heart I can rely on through anything
For that one who I can run to...

(Turn to you)
For a shield from the storm
For a friend, for a love
To keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength to be strong
For the will to carry on
For everything you do
For everything that's true
For everything you do
For everything that's true
I turn to you

I have found my friends that I can turn to whenever I'm down, I love you guys to death.
They know who they are. xx
Well, have you?

You leave Me Breathless

2009-09-07T17:17:00.015+08:00

I miss the way you smile. I miss the way you walked. I miss the way you talked. I miss the way you hugged. I miss the way you kissed. I miss your voice. I miss the way you laughed. I miss everything about you. I know that you're gone now but part of me still hanging on. I never did want to let you go but you insisted so what can I do. The best part of me was you but you never did realized that. You could never understand how I felt when you left. I was so hurt and I felt so empty. It cuts so bad, that the scars run deep. I taught that I'll never loved again. You're the one who taught me how to love and you see the best in me. I miss the time when we would talk on the phone for hours and just talking back at each other about craps and ended up laughing. I missed all your sweet messages that gave me butterflies. I miss when we walked together at the park holding hands and I did never want to let go. I miss your soft lips that gave me the goosebumps. Even if people think that you're a loser I don't care because you are my loser. You were the one who always there for me. Your warm embraced and your soft touched puts a smile on my face. I kept thinking of you since the day you left me, I cried every single night. You gave me everything that no one can ever have. You always made my day. Even though, I never showed how much I did loved you and still do, I want you to know that everytime I see you I catched a glimpse of heaven. You mean so much to me. I've always catched my breath everytime you're around. If I had to pick between loving you and breathing, I would used my last breath to say 'I Love You'. You were the only one for me. Every tear that I shed for you is every second of how much I missed you. I can't explain this feeling I think about it everyday and even though we've moved it gets so hard to walk away. I can't forget how we used to be. Our life from day to day hoping maybe you'll come back. And though I tell myself not to be afraid, to move on but it seems I can't. Though a new men has given me attention, it ain't the same as your affection. You were the stars in my sky. You were the moon in my darkest nights. You were the sun that brightens up my day. As years past, we stayed friends. But you never did knew that I stay in love with you all this time. One day, you said you want me in your life back. Oh, how I wished you knew how much I want too but it's just time for me to let go. And so I guess you were dissapointed in me but it's the best for us. Each day, I slowly learn to let you go and just move on with my own life and I think that I'm ready to do that. Even though, not completely but it's good enough. You used to be the reason I wake up smiling and you know what, you still the reason why. You'll always be my soul mate. How far life takes me and how miles apart we are I'll always remember you,
my first love ♥ I missed you.

Don't Speak

2009-09-07T15:40:00.005+08:00

Friendship is mutually cooperative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each others company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as the exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for some, the practical execution of friendship is little more than the trust that someone will not harm them.

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

I never thought that everything would turned out this way. You used to be the one I lean on every time I'm down. You used to be the one that I'd talked to on the phone when I'm bored. You used to be the first one I'll think off if something happened. You used to be the one I always smile with. But, everything changed. You changed. Why did that happened? I'm the one who was there for you when no one else did. I was the one who picked you up, when you fall. I was the one who make everything okay but why did you turned your back on me? I miss the times we had and the joy we bring to each other. I miss your warm embraced and the way you make me feel whenever you're around. Even though, you have flaws but to me you were my perfect friend. You were a friend that I've always turned to. Friends forgives each other for their mistakes and still love them for that. True friend just won't leave your side for whatever reason. I don't know what happened to us. I searched in vain, cannot find the root. Where it is that this transformation has come from? Why has it come about, what does it feed on? Tell me what it is that torments? What pain gestates in your very soul, for you to be vexed and lash out. Once we were close, like to side of a coin. So close where words had no ground. I surely wish that would at least redress the issues, for which truly I'm at a loss; wanting only reparation for a friendship that sadly lost.

There are times in the day,
when i will think then I will say,
our friendship is lost and gone,
and has fallen like dawn.

none to look too,

when I'm feeling blue,

why you wonder?

well that's a question to pounder.

have you really left me?

is our friendship not meant to be?

are you not being true?

or doing things your not suppose to do?

i notice that we hardly talk,

and you always avoid me when you walk.

feelings are left unsaid,

and the hatred begins to spread.

is it true that our friendship is fading away?

please if yes, can we make up today?

cause you are my friend and i really care,

about the time we used to share.

but now this time is gone,

and has fallen like dawn.

i wish we could be close again...or at least try,

cause for the time we have lost I've had time to cry.

cause our friendship was honest and true,

and my biggest loss was being friends with you.

for the time we've spent apart,

have caused me to have a broken heart.

time apart from you has made me see,

how important our friendship is to me.

i don't know about you but I'm sure about me,

i miss the way our friendship used to be.

so is it true? are you my friend?

or is the friendship that i loved...come to an end?

they know who they are, xx

Love doesn't make the world go round; Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

2009-09-07T10:35:00.002+08:00

Everyone has been in love and be loved. Love is something that you cannot describe the deepest meaning of it how much you want too. The feeling is the most extraordinary feeling you can ever felt. It's the strongest feelings of all. Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way. Love is what makes you smile when you're tired. Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday. Love goes on even when you stop breathing and you pick up where you left off when you reach heaven. Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day. Love is when you're born and see your mommy for the first time. Love cards like Valentine's cards say stuff on them that we'd like to say ourselves, but we wouldn't be caught dead saying.When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.

You can fill a thousand pages telling a person how you feel but still they won't understand. It is going beyond yourself and stretching who you are for someone else. Being in love entails seeing someone as you wish they were: to love them is to see who they really are and still care for them. Love isn't bitter, but you can't have love without pain: sacrifice is the hallmark of love , the coin of love. The true meaning of love is found in the word "unconditional". Loving someone through their flaws and all. Accepting and embracing each others differences and compromising with their offerings. Love is learning to see the beauty in everything. You can break love, but it won't die.

I've been in love and hurt and it cuts so deep it hurts down to my soul but I learn that love is something that is constant and you can't ever get rid of, it stays with you eternal. So I tend to take risks in love even though how much it hurts and how many times I'll fall, I will always get up and stand tall because love is God's true gift so make the best of it. My enemies taught me how to love. Take chances in life and love to the extent because we only lived once.